Piedras
by magicalteacakes
Summary: When the Glee club returns for senior year, Brittany struggles to understand why Santana has been ignoring her. On finding out Santana has found new love, Brittany is hurt. But there is nothing she won't do to win back Santana's affections. Side Faberry.
1. Prologue

Sometimes, I really didn't know what was going on.

I know people thought I'm stupid, and maybe they were right - but I think I was more just confused. I always have been. I probably always would be. There were a lot of things I wished were different, because I didn't understand why they were that way.

There was one person I blamed for this. One person, who had been away in Spain all summer. One person, who had been ignoring my texts. One person who was supposed to be my best friend. One person called Santana Lopez. One person I was crazily in love with.

I kept trying to tell myself there's a good reason for it -_ texts cost a lot more in Spain, right? _

_But, _said a nasty voice in my head, _her parents are insanely rich. They wouldn't care._

_Fine, _I would reply to the voice, bitterly. _But maybe her parents took her phone again._

_She would have gone to any lengths to contact you. You know that._

I sighed. It really did seem like Santana was ignoring me. After everything that had happened last year, she was distancing herself from me. Again. And I couldn't take it.

I had sent her at least thirty texts - how could she possibly talk herself out of that?

But now, it was the last day of the summer holidays, and I knew Santana was home. I was quite tempted to rush to her house and scream how much I loved her. But I'd already done that, and it clearly hadn't worked as planned.

How could this be happening? After all the love of last year. _Landslide. Songbird. All those 'I love you's._

And what about the day when she had left for Spain?

She had rushed straight to my house that morning, desperate to say goodbye before she left.

* * *

><p><em>'Yeah, okay, I'm coming,' I shouted in the direction of the door. 'Jeez, stop ringing the bell.'<em>

_Still pyjama-clad and wearing no makeup, I prayed to God that it wasn't anyone from school._

_As soon as I opened the door, Santana was hugging me._

_'Santana! I thought you were going to Spain today?'_

_I didn't notice she was crying until she started shaking, sobbing against my shoulder._

_'San, I...'_

_'Brittany. I'm sorry. I just really need to say goodbye.'_

_I pulled away so I could look into her tear stained face. Fighting the urge to kiss her tears away, I simply brushed them away with my fingers._

_She smiled weakly._

_'I'll miss you.'_

_'Yeah, me too,' I said, fighting tears. 'I'll miss you so much.'_

_'I can't go this long without you, Britt.'_

_The confession had the tears starting up again, and I hugged her tightly._

_'You're going to have a great time. You don't need me to be there. You go have fun, okay? I'll be in touch.'_

_I thought I heard the tiniest whisper of 'I love you' against my shoulder, before she pulled away._

_'I hope I don't miss the flight now. I ran here just before my parents were ready to leave.'_

_'Santana! Get going!'_

_With one last, brief hug, she turned._

_Pausing at the door, she turned back. 'Bye, Britt.'_

_'Bye, San.'_

_I tried to smile as genuinely as I could._

_She turned, and was gone._

_I shut the door behind her, and went back to bed, cuddling my duvet to hide the gaping hole she'd left behind._

_'I miss you already.'_

* * *

><p>She hadn't kept in touch. I'd tried my best, but she obviously hadn't missed me at all. Not like I had missed her, texting her every day, checking my phone every ten minutes. Waiting for some sign that she was alright.<p>

I sighed, pulling on my pyjamas and getting into my Santana-less bed. We used to spend every night having sleepovers, pretending to my mum that Santana was sleeping on the floor, and then as soon as all the lights were out she would slip noiselessly into bed behind me, wrapping her arms around me.

I missed those days so much - I missed having her touch burn my skin. I missed having her kiss my neck affectionately, assuring me that this is what friends did. Even though I knew perfectly well that we were more than that.

But it hadn't mattered, because all I'd wanted was her.

Turning over, I imagined that Santana's hands had never left me, and slowly I drifted off to sleep.

_She can't avoid me forever, _I thought, just before I dropped off. _Tomorrow, I'll make sure of that._

**A/N: This is just the prologue, which is why it's immensely short. Hope you enjoyed it. Please review, I would really appreciate your feedback.**


	2. Chapter 1

The first day of school was bound to be uneventful. I thought it would just be sorting out timetables and catching up with friends from the long summer. Nothing interesting would happen.

Unfortunately, as it turned out, life isn't that simple.

Things hadn't really changed with classes – but I had double Spanish first thing and I knew what that meant.

A class with Santana.

We used to sit beside each other. I wondered if that would change now, seeing as she hated me or something. But I was more than determined to confront her about it, because I needed some kind of explanation. Nothing made sense.

When I walked in, she was sitting at the same desk that we sat at last year – but she didn't look up as I walked past her and sat down. The anger boiled inside of me because she wasn't even acknowledging my presence anymore.

It hurt.

But I had to be strong, and carry through my plan.

'Santana.'

She looked up at me, and I saw fear there. Like she knew what was coming, and had been expecting it.

I sat down beside her.

'What's been going on?'

'What do you mean?'

'You know fine well what I mean,' I said, hardly concealing my rage. 'You never replied to my texts when you were in Spain. I phoned you, no answer. I haven't spoken to or seen my best friend all summer.'

She looked away, possibly unable to look into my sincere eyes.

'Listen, Brittany,' she began, looking down. 'I just was really busy and stuff.'

'That is not a decent explanation, okay,' I said, feeling tears stinging my eyes. 'All I know is, I told you...'

I lowered my voice before continuing.

'I told you I loved you. Santana, that hasn't changed. What's changed with you?'

'Nothing, I just –'

'Well clearly something's wrong, or you would have been paying attention to me. I can't deal with you not being around. I thought you felt the same way.'

I was beginning to get hysterical.

'Brittany, I missed you, of course I did, but...'

'But what! Am I not your best friend anymore? Does nothing that's happened mean anything to you? I'm...'

I leaned in closer and placed my hand on top of her's on the desk.

'I'm nothing without you, Santana.'

She looked into my pleading eyes, full of tears, and for a second the urge to kiss her almost overpowered me. But, just as suddenly, she looked away, and the magic in the moment was gone. She pulled her hand away from mine and placed it on her lap.

'I can't be with you, Brittany.'

'Why not,' I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

'I... I haven't come out to anyone at this school yet. And...'

'And?' I pushed.

'And, I'm seeing someone.'

My jaw dropped.

'You're... what?'

'I'm seeing someone, Brittany. A girl.'

I couldn't breathe.

I began to shake my head slightly, pleading with her to say it was a joke.

But her gaze remained firm.

'Who,' I managed, my heart breaking in my chest.

'Her name's Jamie,' she said, not looking at me. 'We met on holiday.'

I paused, trying to fight back the tears. Was this really happening? How? So many questions filled up my mind and I had no answers.

'Why, Santana? I was here, I love you, I waited for you. Why was it not good enough?'

'Brittany, I just couldn't,' said Santana. 'I loved you too, I just... I can't be with you like that. It scares me.'

I felt my heart crumble at the past tense of 'loved'.

But she couldn't really mean that.

'Be brave, Santana,' I pleaded, 'I love you. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in this world. Remember?'

'Of course, Britt. Please, I can't do this. I can't be with you.'

I looked away, inhaling deeply to try and keep calm.

'Okay.'

She looked up, her eyes full of sorrow.

'I'm sorry.'

'It's okay.'

'No, it's not,' she said.

'No, you're right, it's not,' I agreed. 'But you know what? I'm not giving up. I will get you back, Santana.'

I looked down at my Spanish work, which I hadn't started yet.

The first noun to translate was _piedras_, meaning stones. Was Santana made of stone? Did she not feel anything anymore?

I loved her.

But, for whatever reason, it wasn't enough.

The first Glee Club meeting was bound to be fun. They always were, except when Rachel got to sing five solos in front of us.

But apart from that, I really enjoyed them.

Santana sat on the other edge of the room, and I hesitated before I walked over and sat beside her.

She stiffened, but otherwise ignored my presence. Again.

'Welcome back, guys,' said Mr Schue. 'Listen up, because this is important.'

Mike stopped kissing Tina to look round.

'We have a new student joining us this year. He just transferred from Dalton Academy.'

Everyone looked at Kurt, already knowing who it was, having been informed many times.

'So everyone please welcome, Blaine Anderson.'

Blaine walked in, waving, and we all cheered.

We'd had good times with Kurt's boyfriend, and we all welcomed him as part of the crowd.

He immediately sat beside Kurt, giving him a brief hug as he went. I couldn't help but wish me and Santana had that – to be so open, and no one even minded.

'So,' said Mr Schue, 'I've got an idea for you all. Seeing as Rachel and Finn's duet last year – although very good – did kind of lead to our downfall at Nationals, I've decided to have another duets competition.'

Much excited muttering broke out.

'However, this time, you guys aren't voting. I am.'

Everyone looked at Mr Schue.

'Why?' asked Kurt.

'Because, this competition will have a great effect on who I choose for the duet at Sectionals. So, I will choose the winner.'

'What does the winner get this time?' asked Tina.

'That will be decided later. Also, there's just one more thing – you don't get to choose who you're singing with.'

'What? That's crazy, Mr Schue,' Rachel began. 'I for one believe that we know who our voices go well with. I think we should choose.'

She gave Finn a sideways smile.

'No, Rachel,' he said firmly. 'The point of this task is to challenge you all – I will put an unlikely pairing together, and you two have to try and work out a way to make your voices go together. Let's think of it as a kind of... experiment.'

'So, when will we find out who we're going with?' asked Mike.

'Soon,' he replied. 'Just as soon as I've worked it out. Probably tomorrow.'

Excited, we all left. I wondered who Mr Schue would put me with – it was unlikely to be Santana, he knew how close we were. Maybe someone completely different.

Santana might end up with Rachel, I thought, amused. Now that would be a sight to see.

I walked into the parking lot where I was getting picked up, and scanned the area for Santana. I spotted her in the distance – getting into a car I didn't recognise, which seemed to be filled with people. I squinted to try and see who was in the front, but the windows were tinted and it was impossible.

I thought I knew who it was, but I didn't want to believe that Santana's new girlfriend would live close enough to pick her up from school.

_Maybe it's her mum's friends, or something, _I thought. _Yeah, that must be it._

Not entirely believing my own theory, I saw my mom in her car and walked over, getting in.

'Hey, Brittany,' she said, smiling. 'How was your first day as a senior?'

'Fine,' I replied bluntly, screwing up my eyes to hide the tears that I could feel building.

She frowned at me through the mirror.

'What's up?'

'Nothing. It's just Santana.'

'Still not talking to you, huh?'

She looked concerned. After all, me and Santana had grown up together, we had spent entire summers together, never leaving each other's side. Hell, we were never alone from one another. We even showered together most of the time.

It was like losing a huge chunk of myself, when she was gone.

'Baby, don't worry,' my mom said consolingly. 'I'm sure she'll come around. Give it time.'

'I don't think she will, mom,' I said, trying to explain. 'You don't understand.'

'All I know is, you two are both daughters to me. And I know Santana almost as well as I know you. She won't last long without you. Trust me.'

I sighed deeply, and nodded.

'Okay, mom.'

'Don't worry. I'm sure the situation will get better. How was Glee Club?'

'It was good,' I said, smiling. 'We get to do a duet with someone. Mr Schuester is choosing, though.'

'I see,' she said.

It was nice that my mum actually cared about what happened in my life. I knew from experience that Santana's family neither knew nor cared about her school life. They just wanted her to get good grades, which she usually did.

But it was hard for her.

As soon as I got home, I ran upstairs to my room. I had to text Santana.

My hands shook as I typed the words.

**I know you won't reply to this, San. But I need you to know I will wait for you. However long it takes, I will be there. I need you, and I will fight for you until the end.**

My trembling fingers hovered over the send button, and I pressed down.

As soon as it had sent, I fell back on my pillows, thinking.

She was probably with Jamie right now, doing the things we used to do, convincing ourselves we were just friends when deep down we knew we were so much more than that.

But home? Home is where the heart is. And my heart was with her. She was where I was home.

And I would win her back, because I needed her. More than anything.


	3. Chapter 2

We walked into Glee Club with huge amounts of excitement. None of us has any idea who Mr Schue was going to place us with for the duets competition – and we eagerly awaited his arrival.

Artie came over in the wait.

'Brittany,' he said, smiling. Our friendship had blossomed over the summer, and even though we had dated the previous year, that was all in the past. Now, we were simply best friends.

'Hey, Artie,' I grinned. 'You excited for the duets competition?'

'Um, quite,' He said. 'But I dunno. I'm kind of nervous.'

I frowned.

'Why?'

He leaned closer so that only I could hear.

'What if Mr Schue puts me with Santana? She'll rip my eyes out.'

I laughed.

'That's probably true. But I don't think he will – I mean, he knows you two aren't exactly best buds.'

Artie nodded, and went back to talking to Mike.

I sat down and waited for Mr Schue. He was_ always _late.

Eventually, he walked in wearing one of his usual vests, and I thought I heard Santana make a comment to Mercedes about his clothing behind me. I smiled.

'Hey, guys. You all ready to find out who you're with?'

We all nodded in excitement.

'Okay, go check the door. I put a list up.'

Everyone ran towards the door, laughing and trying to push and get there first.

I waited until everyone else had taken a look, and gone back to their seat looking confused or disappointed, before I went up.

**Brittany – Blaine**

**Rachel – Quinn**

**Santana – Kurt**

**Sam – Tina**

**Mike – Mercedes**

**Artie – Puck**

**Lauren – Finn**

_Hang on, _I thought, confused. _Blaine?_

I walked back to my seat, making eye contact with Kurt's boyfriend. He looked as confused as I felt.

'Mr Schue, is that really your final say?' piped up Finn. 'I mean, you're awesome Lauren, but I think my voice goes better with –'

'Yes, Finn, that's my final say.'

He went silent, looking down.

'Well,' said Puck, grinning. 'I am perfectly happy with this choice. Me and Artie are great friends.'

Artie looked pleased with himself. I smiled.

I was still confused, though.

'Mr Schue, I don't understand,' I said. 'Blaine is an awesome singer. And yes, I am pretty good too, but I'm not even in the same –'

'Remember what I said last week? This is about challenging yourself and finding a song that works for both of you. It also means you have to work together, even with people you aren't on great terms with.'

I looked at Quinn, who had her arms crossed and was looking sour.

Rachel was watching her out of the corner of her eye.

'Well, that's my final decision. So, go and sit with your partner and get discussing.'

I awkwardly made my way towards Blaine and sat down.

'Hey,' he said. He was friendly, after all.

'Hi,' I replied, smiling.

'So, I had some great ideas for song choices, but I haven't heard your voice very much so it would be good if we could meet up some time and practice, after school or something. Just so I can find a song that suits both our...'

I tuned out, deciding that I should probably just go with whatever Blaine wanted to do. Instead, I focused my mind on the dilemma at hand.

Both me and Santana had been partnered with the only other gay couple – what would this mean for us? Maybe it would help her come out. I snuck a glance at her and Kurt on the other side of the room, and grinned. She was already shouting at him, and he was already looking like he'd rather die now, than do a duet with her.

'...Brittany? You listening?'

I turned back to Blaine hurriedly.

'Of course. I think that's a great idea.'

He smiled.

'Okay. Well, if that's it...'

I looked at Mr Schue, who stood up.

'Well, we can carry this discussion on tomorrow. See you all later.'

We all left, a little happier than we had been when we first saw the list.

Well, everyone except Santana, who was leaving the room screaming in Spanish again. Something about Lima Heights Adjacent.

That night, I waited by my phone, as if hoping Santana might have just forgotten to text me back. But I got no texts. Nothing.

Instead, I logged into facebook and saw that she was online.

I clicked her name and typed, 'I love you' before deleting it.

I clicked on her profile and impulsively searched her friends for the unknown Jamie.

I soon found her – clicking onto her profile.

I gasped.

_I know who this is. I've seen her before, _I thought, racking my brains to remember.

I frowned.

Somewhere before summer... Maybe at Nationals...

I gasped, again.

'She's in Vocal Adrenaline,' I said out loud, my eyes wide. 'Oh my God.'

I clicked off the page, my head falling into my hands, propped up on the table.

I groaned.

How could this be happening? First Jesse with Rachel, now Santana... When would they ever learn?

I hurriedly picked up my phone and began to type a text to Santana.

Then I changed my mind.

I wouldn't want her to know I'd been searching up her... girlfriend, on facebook. That would make the situation worse.

I sighed and fell back on my bed. It was only four thirty, but I didn't feel like eating, or doing homework. So I climbed under my covers with Lord Tubbington, and fell asleep.

The next day, I met up with Blaine at lunch, to go over some song ideas.

'Okay, so I'm thinking we need to do something very... original. Not a top forty song. Something that has a meaning for both of us. But, first, I'll need to know some stuff about you.'

I frowned.

'Um, I'm Brittany, nice to meet you,' I said, reaching out to shake his hand.

He laughed.

'I know your name, Brittany. I mean... I need to know some stuff about what's happening in your life at the moment.'

I looked away.

'I.. don't know what you mean.'

'Love, Brittany. You have a boyfriend?'

I pouted.

'No.'

'Really? I thought you would have.'

I smiled.

'Well, I am in love...'

'In love?'

'Yes.'

He seemed to notice the sadness in my eyes, because he reached out and touched my arm comfortingly.

'You don't have to tell me if you don't want, Brittany. But I'm here for you if you want to talk about it.'

'It's Santana,' I blurted out. Then I gasped. 'Shit! I actually just told you that! Oh my God!'

His eyes widened for a second, in which I waited for his verdict.

And then, miraculously, he smiled.

'It's okay, Brittany. I think you need someone... Like me, to talk to. Maybe I can get Kurt to talk to her about it?'

'It won't make any difference,' I said bitterly.

'Well... How about you sing to her about it?'

I looked up.

'Yeah,' he went on. 'I'll find a song that sums up our feelings. And a song that says, I'm not afraid of what anyone else will say.'

'That's only one of the reasons she won't be with me though.'

'Let's take it one step at a time, okay?'

I hesitated, but then I nodded.

'Okay.'

That night, I got a text from Blaine.

**Found the song – it's perfect. Baby, It's Fact by Hellogoodbye. Search it up.**

I sighed, and started up my laptop, opening youtube.

Once I'd typed it in, I pressed play, and just listened.

As the song progressed, I realised what Blaine meant. It really was perfect. And me and Blaine would sound awesome singing it.

Once I finished listening, I texted him back.

**It's perfect, you're right. You can sing it to Kurt and I'll sing it to Santana.**

I smiled as I received a text back, in less than a minute.

**Cool, so practice tomorrow at lunch? See you there.**

That lunch, I was headed to the choir room to meet Blaine. However, when I got there, I found something quite unexpected.

'Rachel...' I heard Quinn's voice from outside and peeped through the door to get a closer look.

Quinn had Rachel pressed up against the back wall and was kissing her ferociously.

_Wait... What._

I stifled my gasp as I turned away, unable to believe what I was seeing.

_Rachel and Quinn._

_Rachel and Quinn? What is this?_

It made no sense. They hated each other. And here they were, kissing... In the middle of school? That was beyond weird. That was... screwed up.

I heard the sounds of movement and I hurriedly ran into a nearby bathroom, as Quinn exited, looking terrified.

Rachel soon followed, going the other way. The same look of horror was on her face.

I waited until they were both gone before I went into the choir room and sat down, thinking.

_I can't tell anyone. It was probably just a one time thing. It didn't mean anything._

Blaine entered soon after, smiling.

'Hey, let's get to work,' he said, laying out sheet music.

I stayed silent.

'You okay, Brittany?'

'What? Oh, yeah... Fine.'

'Okay.'

After rehearsing the number through several times, and working out some basic choreography, we were ready.

'We are so gonna win this thing,' he said, grinning.

'I hope so,' I said, smiling. 'Are we performing it tomorrow?'

'Yep,' he said. 'We're the first ones on the list, remember? That means we go first. It'll be great.'

I walked into the choir room the next day, feeling nervous. Blaine didn't seem fazed – but then again, he had performed so many solos he'd probably lost track.

'So,' said Mr Schue. 'First up, is... Brittany and Blaine!'

Everyone clapped as we walked up, and Brad started playing the piano.

Blaine started the verse.

_Just in case their wondering__  
><em>_They've got us pinned terribly__  
><em>_They don't believe our love is real__  
><em>_Cause they don't know how real love feels_

He walked straight up to Kurt, and sung straight to him. Kurt was smiling and blushing.

I joined in, still in the centre, trying not to make it too obvious who I was singing to.

_You should know it's true__  
><em>_Just now, the part about my love for you__  
><em>_And how my heart's about burst__  
><em>_Into a thousand pieces__  
><em>_Oh it must be true__  
><em>_And they'll believe us too soon_

My eyes found Santana's despite my efforts, and I pleaded with her silently as I sang.

_Baby, it's fact__  
><em>_That our love is true__  
><em>_The way black is black__  
><em>_And blue is just blue__  
><em>_My love is true__  
><em>_It's a matter of fact__  
><em>_Oh, and you love me too__  
><em>_It's as simple as that__  
><em>_Baby, our love is true_

I looked sideways at Blaine, who was smiling as he serenaded Kurt.

I walked towards him and we did the dance that was planned, Blaine spinning me round. I could still see Santana watching me with dark eyes as I danced.

I walked towards her, unafraid, as the second verse started.

_They may say some awful things__  
><em>_But there's no point in listening__  
><em>_Your words are the only words__  
><em>_That I believe in afterwards._

I looked into her eyes, trying to make her believe me. Because I meant every word I said. I slowly circled her chair, not caring that the entire Glee Club was watching us.

_You should know it's true__  
><em>_Just now, the part about my love for you__  
><em>_And how my heart's about to burst__  
><em>_Into a thousand pieces__  
><em>_Oh it must be true__  
><em>_And they'll believe us too soon_

Blaine sung to Kurt who was smiling broadly, completed captivated in his boyfriend's eyes.

_Baby, it's fact__  
><em>_That our love is true__  
><em>_The way black is black__  
><em>_And blue is just blue__  
><em>_My love is true__  
><em>_It's a matter of fact__  
><em>_Oh, and you love me too__  
><em>_It's as simple as that_

I walked back towards Blaine and we sang together, grinning. As I sung the harmony part, Blaine danced around me, looking completely confident as always.

As the song finished, I didn't look at Santana. I was too afraid to see what her reaction would be. However, after the applause died down, we heard a bang from the doorway, and saw that Santana had just stormed out.

'What's up with her?' said Mike.

Everyone cleared their throats and I sat down beside Blaine, who nodded at me.

'I think we've pretty much won already,' he whispered, grinning.

'That was great, guys. So, tomorrow we'll be hearing from Rachel and Quinn, right? You guys prepared?'

I looked behind me at them, who were sitting beside each other but looking in opposite directions.

'Um, yes,' said Rachel, and then felt silent.

'Ookay, if you're sure…' said Mr Schue, then looking up, added, 'Does someone want to go find Santana? Brittany, maybe you should.'

I frowned.

'Why me?'

'Um, because you're her best friend.'

'Fine,' I said coldly, and got up and walked out.

I found Santana sitting in the parking lot, with her head in her hands.

'Hey,' I said nervously, sitting down beside her.

She looked up, and then groaned.

'Brittany, what are you doing?'

'Um, Mr Schue told me to come find you.'

'No, I mean, why did you sing me that love song?'

I frowned.

'Because I'm in love with you… You know that.'

She sighed deeply, and turned away, almost angry.

'What? I _do _love you. I'm just trying to prove it to you.'

'I believe you, Brittany. But there's someone else and _you know that. _Can't you just be happy for me?'

'No,' I said automatically. 'No, I can't, she's not good enough for you.'

'How can you possibly know that?'

'I looked her up on facebook. She's in Vocal Adrenaline.'

Santana looked shocked, and then glared at me.

'So what?'

'Oh, please,' I said, exasperated. 'You were the one who tried to stop Rachel dating Jesse. You're being such a hypocrite.'

She looked shocked and hurt, and stood up.

'Fine. Fine,' she repeated, looking angry. 'Think whatever you want. I don't even care.'

She stormed off, walking out of the parking lot and out of the school gates.

I watched her go, feeling terrible. I hadn't meant that.

And now I was alone, and yet another attempt to win her back had failed miserably.

I sighed, and went back inside.

**A/N: Yeah, Faberry made it's way in here. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and you should listen to the song. Because it's awesome. And the first of many love songs to come. Please review, I love hearing your feedback.**


	4. Chapter 3

Everyone was excited to see the duet performed between Rachel and Quinn. However, I was slightly worried, having seen what happened in the choir room.

But they seemed to be on speaking terms again, at least, they were discussing something in hushed tones.

'Right,' said Mr Schue. 'Let's give it up for Rachel and Quinn.'

Everyone clapped as they hastily walked up to the front.

Quinn glanced sideways at Rachel, who was looking down, avoiding her gaze. And I couldn't help but notice the sorrow in both their eyes.

'We will be singing, Thinking Of You, by Katy Perry,' said Quinn quietly. She gestured to the band, who started playing the tune.

Rachel glanced at Quinn before singing.

_Comparisons are easily done__  
><em>_Once you've had a taste of perfection__  
><em>_Like an apple hanging from a tree__  
><em>_I picked the ripest one, I still got the seed_

Quinn joined in, circling Rachel but avoiding her gaze.

_You said move on, where do I go?__  
><em>_I guess second best is all I will know_

Rachel looked at Finn now – they had been dating since the end of last year, but this song seemed to go against their relationship completely.

_'Cause when I'm with him I am thinking of you__  
><em>_(Thinking of you, thinking of you)__  
><em>_Thinking of you, what you would do__  
><em>_If you were the one who was spending the night__  
><em>_(Spending the night, spending the night)__  
><em>_Oh, I wish that I was looking into your eyes_

I glanced at Finn, who was glowering at Quinn now. Rachel was still dancing around her, and Quinn was completely captivated in her eyes.

_You're like an Indian Summer in the middle of winter__  
><em>_Like a hard candy with a surprise center__  
><em>_How do I get better once I've had the best?__  
><em>_You said there's tons of fish in the water, so the waters I will test__  
><em>

As Quinn sung, she walked towards Rachel, reaching out to her, but Rachel stepped backwards, out of her reach. Quinn's hand fell to her side as Rachel sung more powerfully.

_He kissed my lips, I taste your mouth, oh!__  
><em>_He pulled me in, I was disgusted with myself_

Rachel circled around Finn's chair, and on the last line she pushed herself away, turning back to Quinn on the stage.

They both joined in for the chorus again, staring into each other's eyes.

_You're the best, and yes, I do regret__  
><em>_How I could let myself let you go__  
><em>_Now, now the lesson's learned__  
><em>_I touched you, I was burned_

Rachel reached out and touched Quinn's arm tentatively, and they both seemed lost in the moment for a second.

_Oh, won't you walk through?__  
><em>_And bust in the door and take me away?__  
><em>_Oh, no more mistakes__  
><em>_'Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay, stay_

Their voices faded out at the end, and they seemed to be far away together, as their faces moved closer.

Mr Schue hurriedly stood up.

'Okay, that was great girls, you can sit down now.'

They looked up, and then back at each other, shocked.

They hurriedly walked back to their seats, looking horrified at what they had just let happen.

Their was some scattered applause, and I heard Finn stand up behind me.

'Mr Schuester, can I please talk to Rachel outside?'

Mr Schue sighed, and nodded. 'Go on then, but make it quick.'

Rachel and Finn walked outside together, and muttering broke out amongst the students. Quinn sat still, not speaking to anyone, just looking sour.

I looked back at Santana, who was watching Quinn with a guarded expression.

When she turned round and caught me staring at her, I hurriedly turned back to the front.

Five minutes later, Rachel entered again.

'Where's Finn?' asked Sam, looking confused.

'He's... Stormed out, so to speak,' said Rachel quietly.

'Wait, he's just left school? Why?'

'We just... Broke up, I think.'

Everyone was silent and Rachel hesitated before moving back to sit next to Quinn.

'W-well... I think this meeting's over,' Mr Schue said. 'You can all leave now.'

Everyone rushed out, but I noticed that Quinn stayed behind to wait for Rachel to pack up her sheet music.

'Hey, Brittany,' I turned to see Kurt walking over to me, a look of concern on his face. 'We need to talk.'

'What's up?'

'Come to the library, okay?'

I nodded, and followed him.

When we got there, we sat down and Kurt took a deep breath.

'I know about Santana, and her girlfriend.'

I winced.

'You know? How?'

'We've been working on our duet, and she's been inseparable from her phone. I can barely get her to work.'

I frowned.

'Yeah, well, it's really not my problem. I can't make her pay attention, Kurt...'

'I know, it's not about that.'

'Then what is it?' I tried not to snap, but it was hard. I hated discussing this.

He moved closer.

'She left her phone behind yesterday,' he whispered, 'and I looked at her texts.'

I gasped.

'Kurt!'

'Look, I was just curious... I couldn't stop myself. Anyway, the girl she's dating? She's in _Vocal Adrenaline._'

'Yeah,' I agreed. 'I know that.'

'You know? And you haven't said anything?'

'I have said something,' I said bitterly. 'She didn't listen to me, okay.'

'We have to do something, Brittany.'

'It's not my problem, Kurt. She doesn't care about my feelings anymore, so –'

'This isn't about you, Britt. It's more about the team, okay? This is just another Jesse situation. We have to put a stop to it before she ruins our chances at Sectionals.'

'And how are we going to do that?'

He hesitated.

'This is going to sound horrible, okay,' he said. 'But I think we need a spy. Someone who can get close to Jamie and find out what's really going on.'

'Okay... So who? I mean, who do we know who would go and talk to some girl they don't know, and get close to them? No one would do that...'

Kurt grinned.

'Puck.'

I raised my eyebrows.

'You really think Puck would help us?'

'Maybe not intentionally,' said Kurt. 'But if we introduce him, he will stop at nothing to get close to her. You know what he's like.'

'I suppose so,' I agreed. 'But there's just one major flaw in this plan...'

He frowned. 'What?'

'Jamie likes girls, not guys.'

'Well yeah, but Puck's a charmer. She'll at least want to be his friend.'

'I dunno, Kurt,' I said doubtfully.

'Look, it's worth a try, right? We need to stop this.'

'I suppose it's a good thing he broke up with Lauren over summer.'

'Yeah,' Kurt agreed. 'Right, I need to go meet Blaine, but we'll discuss this later, okay?'

I nodded, and he left.

I sighed, thinking about Jamie. I needed to meet her. But I really doubted it would help the situation, I'd probably just end up hitting her.

But maybe if I met her, it would give me the strength I needed to move on.

I didn't want to, but I knew it was the only way forward from here.

**A/N: Sorry, it's a short chapter. But I wanted to upload it today, hehe. Hope you enjoyed.  
>The more reviews I get, the quicker I'm going to want to update it. JUST SAYING. ;)<strong>


	5. Chapter 4

I had thought that it was only rumours, when I first heard that Blaine and Kurt were fighting.

I mean, they were fine two days ago.

And anyways, it was typical glee club to start gossip, especially Tina and Mercedes.

But after I heard, I decided not to ask them about it – I would probably not get the truth. No, I had a better plan.

I cornered Santana in our first class of the day, and confronted her about it.

'Look, I don't know, Brittany,' she said, sounding resigned. 'It's a really long story and I don't even know half of it.'

'Come one, San,' I said pleadingly. 'I'd rather hear it from you than hear some exaggerated version from someone else.'

She sighed deeply.

'Fine,' she said. 'I'll tell you.'

I waited patiently.

'Kurt's been texting someone a lot during rehearsals. I thought it was Blaine, but apparently it's not.'

I frowned. 'How do you know?'

'Because...' she hesitated. 'Blaine came to pick Kurt up from our practice yesterday.'

I nodded. 'And...?'

'And, Kurt went to the bathroom and left his phone. And Blaine heard it buzz a few times, and thought it must be something important, like from his mom, you know?'

'Right... And it wasn't?'

'No,' she said, with a sigh. 'It was from Karofsky.'

My eyes widened.

'K...Karofsky.'

'Yep,' she confirmed. 'It was. He didn't read it – he just saw who it was from. He asked me if I knew about it, and I said I hadn't known. Then he left.'

'Kurt's been texting Karofsky? Like, a lot? That's... weird.'

'Yeah,' Santana agreed. 'That's not all of it. Kurt came out of the bathroom, and I had to explain what had happened. He shouted at me, something about Karofsky needing help, and then bolted after Blaine.'

I frowned.

'I don't understand,' I said. 'If Karofsky only needed Kurt's help, and he told Blaine that... Wouldn't it be okay? Why are they still fighting?'

'I dunno,' she sighed again. 'Look, I need to get to class. Ask Kurt.'

She walked away, and I watched her go, feeling sad.

'Bye.'

We were all a little worried about the duet between Kurt and Santana – everyone knew Kurt and Blaine were fighting, so Kurt was bound to be angry. And Santana was always angry. So it was bound to get messy.

But we were surprised that when they walked onto stage, they both has smiles plastered there.

'Hey, guys,' said Santana, grinning. 'We will be singing Wild Young Hearts, by Noisettes.'

We all clapped as Kurt signalled for the band to begin.

Kurt began singing.

_And while the city sleeps__  
><em>_I won't weep because I didn't keep__  
><em>_My boyfriend_

He walked towards Blaine and gave a sarcastic shrug.

_And the summer's end is here again__  
><em>_And the leaves are golden__  
><em>_Under the grand silver birch tree_

Santana joined in, jumping onto the piano and smiling.

_While we're thinking 'bout the people we meet__  
><em>_Dancing feet, wasters on the cover of a magazine__  
><em>_People you've kissed, people you lust__  
><em>_And the one's that you might not__  
><em>_Ever remember, what's the use?_

She was all smiles, as was Kurt. Everyone was looking at each other, wondering what drugs they had taken.

They both joined in for the chorus.

_I'm not what I was last summer__  
><em>_Not who I was in the spring__  
><em>_Tell me, tell me, tell me when will we learn__  
><em>_We love it and we leave it and we watch it burn__  
><em>_Damn these wild young hearts__  
><em>_Damn these wild young hearts_

They danced happily as they sang in harmony, their voices sounding amazing together.

Kurt began the next verse.

_Now that the city's awake, my heart aches__  
><em>_Oh, what a silly mistake it seems I've made__  
><em>_You left your keys under my bed__  
><em>_Left a thumping in my head__  
><em>_I would say sorry, what's the use?_

He shrugged again, silently telling Blaine he wasn't sorry for helping Karofsky.

_'Cause, I'm not what I was last September__  
><em>_And I don't wear the same robes in May__  
><em>_We know we shouldn't do it, but we do it anyway__  
><em>_We know we might regret it but it seemed okay_

I glanced at Blaine, who was glowering at Kurt.

_If now is forever then what's to prove__  
><em>_'Cause it won't be the same next summer__  
><em>_And I guess I'll see you in the spring__  
><em>_Somebody tell me, tell me, tell me, when will I learn__  
><em>_I love it and I leave it and I watch it burn_

My eyebrows were raised. Why were they acting so… Happy?

_Damn this wild young heart__  
><em>_I told you damn this wild young heart__  
><em>_Damn this wild young__  
><em>_Tell me, tell me, tell me when will I learn__  
><em>_Damn this wild young heart__  
><em>

They song finished and they laughed and hugged.

'Hang on,' said Tina, confused. 'You guys are, like… friends now?'

'Yeah,' said Kurt. 'Yeah, we are. And this song was just a shoutout to some people, to say that I can be happy without them being there.'

They sat down, Kurt looking dignified.

Blaine rolled his eyes and turned away.

I waited for Kurt after the meeting, wanting his side of the story.

'Brittany,' he said, when he looked up and saw we were alone.

'Hi,' I said. 'I wanted to know what's happening with you and Blaine.'

He looked up, and then frowned.

'Um, that's between us.'

'Yeah, but I just wanted to hear your side of it.'

He sighed, and gestured for me to come sit down beside him.

'I've been texting Karofsky recently,' he said.

'I know, Santana told me.'

'Yeah, I thought she would,' he said, rolling his eyes. 'Listen, it's not like… I was just helping him with something.'

'I know that,' I said truthfully. 'I know you'd never try to hurt Blaine.'

'I think we've broken up,' he said bitterly.

'But you were acting so happy today,' I said, confused.

'It was an act, Brittany,' he said, smiling sadly. 'Of course I'm upset. And, also, I knew we wouldn't win the competition with a sad song. And Santana's voice was great for that song.'

I nodded.

'Well, I don't think Blaine fell for it.'

'Neither do I,' said Kurt, biting his lip. 'Damn.'

'Listen, there's no point fighting over it. I mean, I don't even know why Blaine thinks Karofsky's a threat. He's not even gay…'

Kurt smiled.

'Yeah.'

'Well, I think he's being unreasonable. Should I speak to him?'

'No, I'm sure we'll work it out. But Karofsky really does need my help right now. And if Blaine isn't okay with that… Fine.'

He sighed.

'Kurt?'

'Yeah, Britt.'

'Have you spoken to Puck yet?'

He looked round.

'Yeah, I have actually…'

'And…? How'd it go?'

'He said he doesn't want to date anyone right now.'

I frowned.

'Seriously? Puck?'

'Seriously,' he said sadly. 'But, you know, I think with a bit of persuasion…'

'Yeah, maybe you could get Santana to introduce everyone, at Sectionals.'

He looked at me, suspicious.

'You have ulterior motives, don't you?'

'What does that mean?'

'I mean, you're smarter than you let on, aren't you, Brittany?'

I smiled smugly, and shrugged.

'True.'

He laughed.

'I'll see you later, okay.'

He stood up and left.

Then I heard something outside, and strained my ears.

'No, Quinn, this isn't happening again.'

_Rachel?_

I walked towards the door and peeked through the window – Rachel was on the phone.

'No! I can't do this… People already think something's going on here!'

I listened, afraid that she would see me, but my curiosity took over.

'No, there _isn't a_nything going on here. No, Quinn. I won't let this happen. Yes, of course I do, but…'

She gasped, and then looked angry, hanging up the phone.

She walked off, and I shook my head.

What was going on between those two?

Picking up my bag, I walked to the door, and left.

They would tell people when they were ready. Just like Santana would.

Even though we all knew anyway.

But, maybe by the time she's ready, she'll also be ready to be with me. Because no matter how much she denies it, she _does _have feelings for me.

It's only a matter of time before she realizes that.

**A/N: Don't worry, the Kurt and Blaine fight won't last forever. Sorry that this is getting so angsty, haha. I can't write happy stories. I also seem unable to include a straight couple, oops. Should probably do that, le sigh. Review and I will marry you.**


	6. Chapter 5

It was a surprise, when I woke up on Saturday morning, that my phone was buzzing.

Considering how early it was, and considering that no one phoned me except Santana. And obviously she wasn't speaking to me.

Which is why I was so shocked when, after finally deciding to move, I saw the name that popped up on my phone screen.

_Santana._

My hand jumped for the phone so fast I almost knocked my lamp off my bedside table. I hurriedly pressed the green button and put the phone to my ear.

'Hello?' I said, my voice shaking a little.

'Brittany,' said Santana. It was barely more than a whisper.

'San, are you okay? You sound ill.'

'I'm... I'm fine,' she tried, but her voice cracked and she started sobbing into the phone.

'Santana! Don't cry, do you want me to come over? I'll put on some clothes and run, I'll be there in –'

'No, Brittany, it's okay,' she said, giving an unconvincing sniff. 'I just... needed to speak to someone.'

'What's up?' I asked, concerned.

'It's my mom,' she cried. 'She... She found out about Jamie.'

My heart felt heavy.

'Oh,' I said. 'Oh.'

'She... She's been shouting at me for the last half an hour, she went through my bag and found a – a photo...'

I sighed deeply. I didn't want to help her – but I knew I would, in the end. I would do anything for her.

'Do you need somewhere to stay? Just for a few nights. I'm sure my mom would be cool with it, you're like family to her after all.'

I could hear Santana sobbing, but she didn't answer.

'San?' I pressed. No answer.

'San, if you don't reply, I'm coming over right now.'

'No, Brittany,' she said. 'It's fine. Are you sure you're okay with this? Jamie can't take me, because her mom doesn't know about me and wouldn't understand.'

'It's fine, Santana,' I encouraged. 'You're my best friend. I'm here for you no matter what.'

_And I love you._

'Thank you, Brittany. I honestly can't express how grateful I am.'

'Just come over, okay,' I said, before hanging up.

The phone fell from my hand and hit the floor. I faceplanted my pillow and stayed there, wondering if I could just sink into the mattress and be forgotten.

But this? This I didn't mind. Being friends with Santana would be hard, because I wanted more – but not being friends with her? That was harder. And that hurt more than the thought of her being with someone else ever would, because I needed her close to me.

I hurriedly pulled on shorts and a tshirt, and headed for the kitchen to explain the situation to my mom.

'Mom, can Santana stay here for a couple of days? It's just her parents are really angry with her.'

My mom frowned.

'I thought you two were fighting?'

'No, not anymore,' I said, smiling.

She chuckled. 'Knew it wouldn't last long.'

I took that as a yes, and headed for the front door, to wait.

Santana arrived five minutes later, having just ran from her house. She had a small backpack on, and I raised my eyebrows.

'You really fit all your clothes in there?'

She smiled. 'Only a few things. If I run out... Can I just borrow stuff from you?'

'Sure,' I smiled.

She smiled back, and for a second I was lost in her amazing dark eyes.

'Santana.' My mum had come through from the hall, grinning. 'Haven't seen you here in a while.'

'Sorry, Mrs Pierce,' she said, hugging her.

'Well, it's great to see you again, anyhow.'

The three of us stood awkwardly in the hall for a few seconds. I cleared my throat.

'Um, Santana, should we go upstairs, or...?'

'Sure,' she said, practically bounding up the stairs. I couldn't help but giggle.

When I reached my room, she was already lying on my bed, completely at home.

I awkwardly perched on the edge, and she sat up, suddenly sincere.

'Brittany..'

I turned to her.

'I... I'm so grateful. God, you should be so angry with me. But you're here when no one else is. So, thank you for that.'

'Santana, the fact you're... dating Jamie... It doesn't change the fact that I will always be here if you need me. I can deal with just being your friend, if that's the way you want it to be. This is your decision... Not mine.'

She looked pained.

'But,' I added, curious, 'I have to ask. Why did you choose her... over me?'

She looked down at her knees.

'Brittany... When I was away on holiday... Things changed. My parents weren't fighting. I was getting along with them. I wanted a new start, sort of. It felt great to just... forget, for a second. I just wanted to forget about everything that was happening here. Because it was hurting me so badly.'

I nodded.

'And... I suppose, after spending a whole month with this girl, I just... Wanted to be with her. I couldn't just forget. I'm sorry.'

I looked up at her, putting on my best smile.

'It's okay,' I said. She looked sceptical. 'No, _really. _It's okay. I want you to be happy. And if that's outside of me, for now, fine.'

_For now._

She smiled sadly.

'I can't thank you enough,' she said earnestly.

'You can thank me by taking me out and buying me ice cream...?' I suggested.

'Deal,' she grinned, jumping off the bed, and I followed her out the door.

Twenty minutes later, we had found an ice cream parlour on the edge of town and I was anxiously awaiting my turn to order.

'Ooh, so many choices,' I said, bouncing on my heels. 'I can't decide.'

Santana chuckled.

'I'll order for you. It's a surprise, so you'll have to go and stand outside.'

I nodded, and left the shop.

My legs were a little sore from all the walking, so I went and sat on a bench and waited.

Santana emerged soon after, clutching two ice creams.

My eyes lit up as I took mine, and eagerly started.

'Strawberry?' I said, smiling.

'Of course. It's your favourite.'

'Thanks, San,' I said, grinning. 'You saved me from all those scary looking ones, like... pistachio. What even is that?'

'A type of nut,' she said, laughing. 'It's actually quite nice.'

'You should have got it,' I said.

'Nah, I like this flavour better.'

I smiled at her, then looked at the ground.

_Don't get too attached, _I told myself firmly. _She doesn't like you like that anymore._

And even though I knew this wasn't totally true, it was easier just to believe it.

'This is nice,' Santana mused.

'Yeah,' I agreed, 'It's like old times.'

'I miss those days,' said San, turning to me. 'So much has changed.'

'Well, yeah,' I said, 'Everything's changed. You realised you're Lebanese, I dated Artie, we lost Nationals because of Finn and Rachel...'

She looked suddenly angry.

'I was so annoyed after that.'

'I kind of noticed, due to all the swearing in Spanish.'

'You understood that?'

'San, you used to swear at Rachel under your breath every time she spoke in Glee club.'

'Yeah, well, Man Hands is no fun.'

I giggled.

'This is a really nice ice cream,' I said, smiling.

'So's mine, want to try?'

I looked at her suspiciously, and she rolled her eyes.

'I know you want to. It's cool, B.'

We swapped and I licked it happily.

'Mmm, this is nice,' I said, grinning.

'Innuendo much,' she laughed. 'Seriously Britt. You need to watch what you say sometimes.'

'Do you like mine?'

'Yeah, it's nice.'

I smiled, and we swapped back.

_It really is like old times, _I thought happily. _Those summer days when nothing seemed to matter but her._

I sighed deeply, and she turned.

'Something wrong?'

'Nope,' I lied. 'Nothing.'

'Okay,' she said meekly.

'Come on,' I said once we'd both finished. 'Home?'

'Yeah,' she said.

And then she did something unexpected.

She reached out her hand, and offered me her pinky.

It was our non-verbal way of saying, we're joined by this friendship, or whatever it is. We are one.

And I smiled, and linked our pinkies together.

That evening, we ate out on the porch, chatting with my family. Santana played hide and seek with my sister – she always had a way with children.

'Come on, Brittany,' she grinned. 'Come join us.'

I sighed, and got up. 'Fine.'

It was Santana's turn to count, and we hurriedly ran off. I managed to jump onto the shed roof and hide there, out of Santana's range of sight.

She found Leah in no time – she had only hidden behind a shrub and Santana dragged her out, carrying her back to the house.

Then she began to look for me. I watched her, grinning, from above, as she searched everywhere, but to no avail.

'Alright, Britt, I give up. Where the hell are you?'

I giggled, and she looked up.

'Jesus, B! How did you get up there?'

'Climbed,' I said simply. 'You should come up.'

She tried to get a foothold but she wasn't tall enough.

'Here,' I said, offering her my hand, which she took nervously.

I hoisted her up and she nearly faceplanted, but managed to regain her balance, and climbed tentatively into the center of the shed roof.

'You're not afraid of heights, are you San?'

'No, I'm not,' she said. 'I'm from Lima Heights Adjacent. We're fearless.'

'Yeah, sure you are,' I said, smirking. She shoved me playfully.

'It's nice up here,' I said.

'Yeah,' Santana agreed.

And then she did something which shocked me.

She put her arm around me, and leant her head on my shoulder.

I stiffened, then rested my head on top of her's.

_She doesn't mean it like you want her to, _said a wise voice in my mind. But it was slowly fading. _She doesn't mean it..._

_I don't care, _I replied. _Maybe she does. How would you know?_

_You're falling into the trap, _said the voice.

_You're wrong, _I answered inside my head. _You're wrong._

I closed my eyes, and it was like I could stay there forever.

Then Leah came running down from the kitchen, and we jerked apart hurriedly.

'Guys, mom says you have to go to bed now,' she said, running off.

I avoided Santana's eyes as I helped her down, regretting our momentary closeness. She seemed to be regretting it too, as she didn't speak to me while we walked back to the house.

I hurriedly picked up my pyjamas and went to the bathroom to get changed, which was unusual – because back in the day we would get changed together, unafraid.

When I returned, Santana was already changed and in bed.

I climbed into the other side and turned away.

It wasn't like it used to be. We used to sleep holding hands, or cuddling, sometimes kissing before we fell asleep. But now? Now there was this barrier between us. It was something that couldn't go away.

I sighed, closing my eyes, but I was in no way ready to sleep.

'Night, B,' Santana whispered.

'Night.'

I waited until I knew she was asleep – she snored softly most of the time – and then I turned to her, unable to stop myself.

I touched her hair softly, but her breathing remained even and I knew she was fast asleep.

'San...' I whispered.

Slowly, I bent down and pressed my lips to her hair.

She muttered dreamily and turned over. 'Sthereproblem..?'

'No,' I whispered, knowing she wouldn't remember in the morning. 'Sleep, San.'

She turned back over and resumed snoring.

I cuddled up against her back, draping my arm over her stomach, and breathing in the smell that was so... Santana. So familiar. It was home.

It didn't take me long to fall asleep, as I breathed in her scent and pulled her close.

It never did.

**A/N: I would just like to thank all of you who have reviewed/favorited this story. It means so much and I love you all. Sorry there was no Faberry/Klaine/any other couples. Just felt I needed to focus on Brittana for this part. Keep reviewing, it makes me want to update faster. Seriously, you guys work like a charm.**


	7. Chapter 6

I awoke the next morning to the feeling of Santana moving herself out of my arms and standing up.

'San...' I muttered sleepily, as Santana pulled open the curtains with some force.

'You should get up, Brittany,' she said, and there was something reserved in her voice.

'I pulled the covers off me, and stood up, yawning. 'Why?'

She didn't reply, but began rifling through her bag, looking for her clothes.

It suddenly hit me.

'This is about... Last night, isn't it?'

She looked at me, rolling her eyes.

'Well I did kind of wake up to you cuddled up to me, you know, when I'm _taken. _I thought we sorted this out.'

I frowned.

'I'm sorry, Santana. I was cold.'

'No, you weren't,' she said coldly. 'I used to use that excuse to be allowed to cuddle up to you at night.'

'What changed?' I asked coolly, looking straight at her.

She glared back, unblinking.

Then, her features softened.

'I'm sorry,' she said. 'This is my fault.'

'How?' I asked, amazed.

'I know how you feel about... me. I shouldn't even be staying here. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have given you the wrong idea, I just –'

'Calm down, San,' I said. 'It's fine. I understand.'

'Maybe I should go back to my parents'.'

'No,' I said urgently. 'You aren't going back there yet. I won't let you. They'll hurt you.'

She looked at me sadly, and I knew what she was thinking. _You're hurting me, Britt._

'_Please,'_ I begged. 'Please stay. I promise it won't happen again. San, please.'

She hesitated, then sighed deeply.

'Fine,' she said, resigned. 'But this can't happen again, okay?'

I nodded.

She smiled at me, although it was more like a grimace.

But before I could question her about it, my phone buzzed, and I grabbed it from the bedside table.

'It's from Kurt,' I said, a little surprised. I opened it, and Santana came around to read over my shoulder.

**Hey, is Santana with you? We were wondering if you wanted to meet up. Most of glee club is going.**

I looked at Santana, who nodded encouragingly.

'You sure?' I asked. 'I mean, you haven't met up with Jamie this weekend at all...'

'It's okay, she'll understand. She doesn't even live close by so I don't expect to see her that much anyway.'

I nodded, and replied to Kurt.

**Sure, where?**

He replied a few seconds later.

**Be at the Lavender Cafe in twenty.**

I smiled. It was one of our usual meeting spots. The glee kids had grown a lot closer recently, and we usually met up on the weekends.

Santana had a shower first, and I waited in my room, feeling happy. Santana had agreed to stay for longer, which was something. I wasn't ready for her to go just yet.

She came into my room wrapped in just a towel, and I frowned.

'Forgot underwear,' she said, grinning.

'You're beautiful,' I whispered as she bent down into her bag to retrieve her underwear.

She didn't hear me.

Once we were both showered and ready, we left for the cafe. Ten minutes later we were there and, as Kurt had said, most of the glee club was already sitting inside.

'Hey,' I greeted, looking around. 'Where's Quinn? And Rachel?'

'They said they couldn't come,' said Kurt. 'Neither could Blaine.'

I smiled sympathetically, and sat down beside Santana.

I look at Puck, who's on his phone as usual, and remember something.

'Hey, Puck?'

'Yeah, Britt,' he said, not looking up.

'Can I... speak to you for a minute?'

He looked at me, then nodded.

We stood up and walked to just outside the ladies' bathroom.

'I was wondering what's happening with you and Jamie,' I asked innocently.

He smiled. 'You know about that, huh? Yeah, we've been speaking quite a bit.'

'That's cool,' I said.

Then he looked suspicious.

'Why do you care...?'

'Oh,' I said, thinking fast. 'I... I just want everyone to be in happy relationships so we do well at Sectionals.'

He looked even more confused, but then he shrugged.

'Whatever. Well, I dunno I've been speaking to her a lot, and I invited her into town, but she keeps making excuses.'

'Oh,' I said, knowing why. 'Well, I mean, hang in there. Maybe you could meet up with a group of people, to make it less like a date.'

He paused, clearly considering the idea.

'That might just work,' he said, grinning. 'Cheers, Britt.'

We walked back to the table, and Santana was watching me curiously, but I just shrugged and sat down.

'So,' said Kurt, speaking to Puck and Artie. 'Have you two got a duet planned for the assignment?'

They both grinned and started up long-winded explanations of their choreography. But they were interrupted by someone's phone ringing.

Kurt hurriedly reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, frowning at it.

'I'll be right back,' he said, putting the phone to his ear as he stood up and walked away.

Puck watched him curiously as he walked further away still, and I turned to see Kurt looking angry.

'Stay here,' said Puck to the other's. 'And watch what Puck does best.'

He left the table and started walking towards where Kurt was standing, then hiding behind a booth, listening.

We all waited anxiously, as Puck's face became increasingly stony.

After about five minutes, he left and walked back to us, sitting down again.

He didn't say anything.

'Um, Puck?' Mike pressed. 'Who was he on the phone to?'

Puck hesitated, then said, 'Karofsky.'

'Karofsky!' The group started muttering as one.

'What was he talking to him about?' I asked.

'He...' Puck hesitated again.

'Go on,' said Tina.

'From what I could gather,' Puck began, 'Karofsky was... Asking Kurt out. And Kurt was saying no. Because of Blaine.'

The whole glee club looked over at Kurt, shocked.

'No way,' said Artie. 'Karofsky? _Karofsky?'_

'I don't believe it for a second,' said Lauren firmly. 'Karofsky _bullied _Kurt. He's not gay.'

'That's all been over for ages, Lauren,' said Puck. 'I always sorta suspected...'

We all fell silent, thinking.

After a few seconds, Kurt rejoined us.

'Sorry about that, was my mom,' he said, smiling.

'No, it wasn't,' said Mercedes, shaking her head.

He frowned.

'Um... How would you know?'

Everyone looked at Puck. Kurt gasped.

'You were eavesdropping.'

'No,' Puck began, 'No, I wasn't –'

'You... How could you do that?'

Puck looked ashamed.

'Sorry, Kurt,' he said meekly.

'And you told all these guys too!'

'Yeah,' he admitted.

Kurt sighed deeply.

'Listen, this stays between us for now. Yes?'

Everyone nodded ferociously.

'Karofsky is going to prove to me his bravery, or something,' said Kurt. 'I don't think he understands that it won't make any difference. I'm still in love with Blaine.'

We all looked sympathetic.

Then, the door of the cafe opened, and Quinn and Rachel walked in.

They didn't see us, but walked to one of the farthest away booths and sat down.

Puck was up and moving before we had time to stop him.

'What is he doing _now,_' moaned Santana. 'They'll see him, and then we're all screwed.'

We watched in despair as Puck used the same technique on these two, and came back looking even more confused than before.

'Puck,' said Santana sternly when he sat back down. 'Can't you just leave people alone? There's this little thing called privacy.'

'Oh, please, they were _asking _me to eavesdrop. It's Quinn and Rachel. Together.'

He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and I rolled my eyes.

'What were they saying, then?'

'I didn't really understand,' he said, shrugging. 'Rachel was saying something about maybe getting back with Finn... Quinn was trying to persuade her not to.'

'Weird,' said Artie. 'Where is Finn, anyway?'

'Had to do extra training after football,' Puck shrugged.

'Well, I know he kind of wants her back too,' said Mike. 'You know what those two are like.'

'Well, Quinn's argument seemed to be convincing her not to, so I dunno.'

We all sat in silence, finishing our food.

'Maybe we should go,' I said to Santana. 'My mom wanted me to help out with some chores.'

Santana nodded, and we stood up.

'Laters,' said Puck.

'Bye,' said everyone else.

'See you all tomorrow,' we waved and left.

I managed to get a good eyeshot of Quinn and Rachel on the way out – Rachel had her hand on the table and, as I watched, Quinn reached out and placed her's on top. I saw Rachel smile shyly before I walked out the door, Santana at my side.

That night, me and Santana started off sleeping as far away from each other as was physically possible, given the space.

But I couldn't sleep. I could still feel that barrier in between us, the thing that was stopping me from being normal around her.

I sighed, and turned over, desperate to be that little bit closer.

She turned over too, so that we were facing each other.

_You look beautiful when you sleep, _I thought. I couldn't say it out loud in fear of waking her.

And then, in her sleep, her arms moved forward, and pulled me closer, making me gasp.

Our faces were inches apart. I could bend down and kiss her if I wanted.

I licked my lips, and slowly but surely pressed our lips together. Her lips moved against mine very slightly, as if she was awake, and I pulled back, terrified.

She slept on, unaware of our brief kiss.

I felt the tears begin to form but I choked them back, determined not to break down.

Her hand lay next to mine, and I felt her pinky link subconsciously with mine under the blankets.

I felt myself slowly drifting off, the memory of our sleep kiss burning my retina.

_Goodnight, Santana._

**A/N: Ach, they kissed. THEY KISSED. Well, not really. But kind of, and that's good enough for me. Hope you enjoyed, and review if you'd be so kind :) I love you all.**


	8. Chapter 7

The rest of the week went by, more or less uneventful. Every night Santana would fall asleep on the other side of the bed, and then subconsciously roll over into my waiting arms.

I didn't dare kiss her again – once was enough to last me, at least for now.

By Friday, all the duets were finished, and Mr Schue told us he would have to deliberate over the weekend before he chose a winner.

It was that afternoon that I made a snap decision to speak to Mr Schue.

I approached him at the end of the school day, just as he was packing up.

'Um, Mr Schue?' I asked innocently, walking up to him.

'Hi, Brittany, what's up?'

He spoke a little patronisingly, as he always did when around me.

'I was wondering if I could, um... Borrow the auditorium tonight.'

'Borrow? The auditorium?'

'Uh, yeah, I just wanted to sing someone a song.'

'Right, sure thing,' he said, smiling. 'May I ask who?'

'No,' I said stubbornly.

He rolled his eyes.

'Fine,' he said huffily. 'Well, I suppose I'll see you on Monday, Brittany.'

I nodded and he walked off.

'Mr Schuester?'

He stopped in the doorway and turned around.

'Yeah?'

'Did me and Blaine win?'

He grinned and tapped his nose, then left.

I sighed, and left.

Santana would be waiting for me in the parking lot, I knew. But I had been planning this all week – I had left a message on her car window. Once she got it, she would come to the auditorium.

I was shaking a little as I entered and stood on the stage.

I'd prepared the song but now I felt like it might not be good enough. I wasn't even sure what I was trying to achieve by doing this.

I sat down on the edge of the stage and waited, not knowing how long it would be before Santana arrived.

Finally, after many long silent minutes, I heard the noise of footsteps coming closer, and I looked up.

Santana entered from the back door and came walking down, arms folded across her chest.

'Hi,' I said, smiling, and standing up.

'Why did you tell me to come here, Britt?'

She sounded a little peeved, yet interested.

'I... I wanted to sing you something. A song.'

She frowned at me.

'Please, San... Sit down.'

She rolled her eyes, even though she was smiling, and sat down, crossing her arms protectively.

'This.. I'm trying to tell you something by singing this. I mean... You already know. But I feel like I haven't really got the message across.'

She nodded curtly, and I looked at Brad who was sitting by the piano. He nodded, and began to play.

_I can tell__  
><em>_I can tell how much you hate this__  
><em>_And deep down inside you know it's killing me__  
><em>_I can call__  
><em>_Wish you well and try to change this__  
><em>_But nothing I can say would change anything_

I looked straight into her eyes as I let the meaning in the words flood through me. Because it was all true.

_Where were my senses?__  
><em>_I left them all behind__  
><em>_Why did I turn away?__  
><em>_Away_

I silently thought of all the times I'd rejected her. I could understand why she no longer wanted the pain.

_I wish I could save you__  
><em>_I wish I could say to you__  
><em>_I'm not going nowhere__  
><em>_I wish I could say to you__  
><em>_It's gonna be alright__  
><em>_It's gonna be alrigh__t_

She watched me with sad eyes as I told her everything I needed to say through song.

_Didn't mean__  
><em>_Didn't mean to leave you stranded__  
><em>_Went away cause I didn't want to face the truth__  
><em>_Reaching out__  
><em>_Reach for me__  
><em>_Empty handed__  
><em>_You don't know if I care__  
><em>_You're trying to find the proof_

I closed my eyes as I thought of Jamie. Was she just Santana's experiment, so I could prove to her how much I loved her?

_There were times I'd wonder__  
><em>_Could I have eased your pain?__  
><em>_Why did I turn away?__  
><em>_Away___

_I wish I could save you__  
><em>_I wish I could say to you__  
><em>_I'm not going nowhere__  
><em>_I wish I could say to you__  
><em>_It's gonna be alright__  
><em>_It's gonna be alright__  
><em>_It's gonna be alright__  
><em>_Save you__  
><em>_It's gonna be alright__  
><em>_I wish I could say to you_

Santana shifted uncomfortably in her seat and I saw her glance towards the door. Was she honestly considering leaving?

_We__  
><em>_Can pretend nothing's changed__  
><em>_Pretend it's all the same__  
><em>_And there will be no pain__  
><em>_Tonight__  
><em>_It's gonna be alright_

___Save you__  
><em>_It's gonna be alright__  
><em>_I wish I could say to you__  
><em>_I'm not going nowhere__  
><em>_I wish I could say to you__  
><em>_It's gonna be alright__  
><em>_It's gonna be alright__  
><em>_It's gonna be alright_

As the music finished, I looked down, and then up at Santana. Her eyes met mine and I saw that they were full of tears.

She stood up, but she didn't walk away. She walked towards the stage and climbed up.

'Brittany, that was lovely,' she said, pulling me close.

We stood, hugging for a few seconds, and I breathed in her hair and wished I could stay there forever.

'But?' I said. I knew it was coming.

'But,' began Santana, 'You know this doesn't change anything.'

I smiled sadly, and nodded.

'That's what I meant by the song. Because I'm not going _nowhere. _I'm here, however you need me. I meant it, Santana. Every word.'

She nodded, and hugged me briefly again.

'Thank you,' she whispered.

'It's okay,' I mumbled, and I smiled into her hair.

And I could honestly say that I was happy.

That night, my parents were going out, so me and Santana were left to babysit Leah.

We sat in the garden most of the time, Santana running around the garden after Leah while I sat and watched, grinning.

Eventually, after they were both severely worn out, we headed back to the house.

'Can't I stay up with you guys?' moaned Leah. 'It's not _fair._'

'Oh, believe me,' said Santana, smiling, 'We are no way staying up.'

After she went and got into bed, I headed for our room, but Santana held me back.

'No,' she said, 'I'm not really tired. Shall we watch a movie?'

I smied, and nodded. 'Sure.'

We went back downstairs noiselessly.

'What do you want to watch?' she asked sweetly.

'Lady and the Tramp?' I suggested. It was a film we had watched one too many times during our childhood.

'Not a_gain,'_ Santana laughed. But she went and got it anyway.

After putting it on, I grabbed an old blanket and we wrapped up in it on the sofa.

We were so close, yet we somehow managed to avoid touching each other. It was horrible to know how afraid we were of the briefest touch.

We were only halfway through the film when Santana dozed off and began snoring.

I couldn't help but giggle as her head drooped sideways and landed on my shoulder.

I rested my head on top of her's, and felt at peace.

Once the film finished, I didn't have the heart to wake Santana up, so instead I lay her down carefully, and climbed in beside her.

It was cramped. But in a good way.

I couldn't bring myself to sleep, though. Not when she was so close beside me. Not when our skin was touching and leaving burns.

So instead, I waited. Waited for the morning to come, and for Santana to wake up from her slumber and realize how close I was.

I knew her reaction wouldn't be good. But that was definitely not top on my list of worries.

**A/N: The song is Save You by Kelly Clarkson. It's pretty. This isn't as long as I hoped it would be. I'm hoping to get another chapter done by Friday, but I'm not sure if it'll be possible. And I'm away hiking all weekend so updates will be scarce. But once I'm back it's all Piedras, all the time. Thank you so much if you have reviewed.**


	9. Chapter 8

I eventually did fall asleep, though it had taken me many hours to get over the closeness of me and San's bodies.

When I did, I thought she would be angry, but she wasn't.

In fact, she wasn't even there.

I reached over with my eyes closed, groping at the empty blankets, desperate to touch her. But my hands found nothing.

My eyes snapped open and I ripped off the covers so fast it was unreal. Standing up, I turned towards the sofa, needing some kind of sign to where she had gone. And why. Though I thought I already knew.

Then, I saw it. A small piece of paper laying on her pillow – with my name hastily scribbled on the front.

I reached for it in desperation, opening it as if expecting an essay.

But there was only six meagre words waiting for me in Santana's handwriting.

_Mom letting me come home. Sorry. x_

I closed it, feeling tears forming in my eyes, but I blinked them back.

She probably hadn't wanted to go home. She needed her mom, that was all. Anyone would in the situation she was in.

I crumpled up the paper and tossed it in the trash, walking through to the kitchen to get breakfast.

'Brittany!' said Leah, bounding towards me. 'Where's Santana? Still sleeping?'

'No,' I said sadly. 'She's gone home, Leah.'

'Oh,' the child looked disappointed. 'But she was the only one who would ever play with me.'

'She'll be back sometimes, don't worry,' I reassured myself as much as her. 'I'm sure of it.'

'Right, sure,' she said sceptically. 'I hope so.'

'Me too,' I said, trying to smile, but it was more like a grimace. 'Me too.'

My mom entered the kitchen, getting ready for work.

'Brittany, will you and Santana babysit Leah for me tonight? I have an important meeting that's likely to run overtime.'

'I'll babysit her, yeah,' I said. 'Santana's gone.'

My mom looked sympathetic, but was clearly in a rush so I didn't push the matter anymore.

'Leah's going to a friend's so you can leave the house until she's home, okay?'

'Sure, sure,' I said, thinking of Puck and his meeting with Jamie. 'I might meet up with a bunch of people from glee club.'

Mom nodded, waved, and left.

'Can I go now, please,' Leah pleaded. 'My friend's house is on the next street.'

'Ugh, just go,' I said. Usually I would walk her there, but she was growing up, and frankly I was not in the mood. 'Don't be back too late, that's all.'

She left happily, and I walked up to my room to get changed, noticing all of Santana's belongings still splayed around the room messily.

I sighed and began picking them all up, putting them in a pile in the corner. My room looked strangely bare with no random tops of Santana's lying on the floor.

I didn't like it.

My phone buzzed and I walked over, realising I had 1 new message from Puck.

**Meeting up with a Jamie later. You're coming, right? Is Santana?**

I felt a surge of anxiousness as I realised I would be meeting Santana's girlfriend today. And Santana wouldn't even be there.

It felt a little wrong.

But I texted back, anyway.

**Santana can't come, spending time with her family. Where are we meeting?**

He texted back seconds later, telling me the details of when and where we were to meet. I hurriedly threw on some clothes and checked my reflection. I looked fine, if not a little tired and worn out.

I left the house, deciding it would be fastest to walk as the cafe where we were meeting wasn't very far away. It was a very warm day so I didn't bother with a jumper.

It didn't take me long to reach the cafe – it was another of the Glee Club's meeting spots so I had no trouble in finding it.

Before entering, I looked through the window to see who had already arrived. I could see a Mohawk, the light shining off Artie's glasses, Rachel and Quinn sitting together... But no Jamie, yet.

I soon realised that I didn't even know what she looked like, which made me more nervous about this meeting.

_Maybe I should back out now? _I thought anxiously. _What if Santana's told her about me? And everything that's happened between us?_

No, I had to be brave. I had made a promise, and I also had to show Jamie who was the better person.

_I'll show her, _I thought, bracing myself and entering.

Puck, Artie, Rachel and Quinn were playing cards, seemingly. They all smiled and greeted me, and I sat down between Rachel and Quinn.

I couldn't help but feel I'd intruded on something going on under the table, but I pushed the thought from my mind.

'So,' I said, smiling. 'When's Jamie getting here?'

'Should be here any minute now,' Puck shrugged, shuffling the cards.

'I think she sounds horrible,' said Rachel.

Puck frowned at her.

'Rach, you've only ever heard her name.'

'Um, yeah, but s_till. _I don't know what the big fuss is.'

'The fuss is, she's _hot,' _Puck grinned and high fived Artie.

Quinn rolled her eyes at the pair of them, and continued texting under the desk.

I peeped at who the text was sending to, and frowned – Rachel.

'Why are you texting Rachel, Quinn? She's right here.'

'Oh, am I...' said Quinn distractedly. 'I mean, oops, wrong number. Sorry Rachrach.'

The other's stared at her, bemused.

'Rachrach?' Puck said, raising his eyebrows. 'Really, Quinn?'

She turned a little red and looked at her knees. I turned to find Rachel doing the same thing.

Suddenly, the door burst open.

And in walked a girl who was unmistakably, Jamie.

She was a sight to see, definitely. Amazing, curly blonde hair, but dark, guarded eyes. She was tall – not as tall as me, maybe, but still tall.

All of us seemed to have forgotten how to breathe as we watched her. I saw Puck's jaw drop as she walked forward and flashed him a gorgeous, white smile, and put out her hand.

'Hi,' she said, grinning at his expression. 'I'm Jamie. You're Puck right?'

He stared at her, closed his mouth, opened it again, closed it, and nodded slowly.

'S-Sit down,' he said, flustered.

I stared at him. I never thought I'd see the day when _Puck _was getting flustered. Like, ever.

She sat down and looked at all of us, her eyes lingering on me.

'You're Brittany, aren't you,' she said, her eyes a little cold.

'Yeah, I am,' I said strongly.

'How do you know Brittany?' asked Puck.

She ignored him.

'Well, are we going to order drinks or what?' she said, smiling at us all.

She walked up to the bar and we stared, amazed, as she reappeared minutes later carrying beers for us all.

Puck just looked impressed, which irritated me a little.

But I suppose it would all turn out good in the end.

The rest of the afternoon went on, and I tried to avoid being alone with Jamie, as I knew it couldn't end well. I would probably hit her, and I decided not to let that happen.

'Right,' said Puck, 'I'm off to the bathroom.'

'Oh, me too,' I said awkwardly.

'But you went, like, five minutes ago...'

'Um, yeah sorry... Forgot.'

I sat back down beside Jamie as Puck left. Quinn and Rachel had moved to a different table and I could see them playing footsie very unslyly under the table.

The silence fell between Jamie and I, but I did nothing to try and break it.

Silence was better than shouting.

I'd learned that from Santana.

'So...' said Jamie, but I didn't turn to her. 'You know Santana pretty well, don't you.'

I looked at her out of the corner of my eye and frowned.

'Listen, I'm doing you guys a favour by not telling people about you.'

'I don't want to keep it a secret, Brittany. Santana is still afraid.'

'Maybe it's because she's with the wrong person,' I said out loud, then bit my lip.

She sighed deeply.

'I know Santana loved you,' she said, watching me. I frowned.

'Loved? No,' I corrected her. 'Santana _loves _me. I don't know in what way, or how that's possible. But I know her better than you ever will. And I can see the love in her eyes.'

She raised her eyebrows.

'So why isn't she with you right now, then, Brittany?'

I looked at her then, hating everything about her. But more hating the fact, that everything she was saying was true.

'I dunno,' I admitted. 'Because she doesn't want to hurt anymore. Because she's afraid. Of committing herself. I don't know.'

'Either way, it doesn't matter. I'm happy to continue keeping our relationship secret – you always pushed her to be honest with people. That's why you lost.'

'I tried to help her accept herself,' I frowned.

'She wasn't ready to accept herself, but you kept pushing. And now, it's too late.'

I stood up. I couldn't take this, I couldn't be here.

Especially when I could hear the truth in her words. A truth that stung.

I grabbed my bag and was halfway to the door when Puck reappeared from the bathroom.

'Brittany, where are you going?'

'Home,' I said shortly, turning.

'Don't do that,' he said, but I ignored him. He didn't understand.

As soon as I was on the road back home, I pulled out my phone. I needed to see Santana. It was an addiction that I had no control over.

She would make me feel better, even if she was the cause of the trouble.

I dialled her number and listened to it ringing before she picked up.

'Brittany,' she said, and I could sense a smile playing on her lips.

'San, I just, uhm. Wanted to check that everything's okay with your mom.'

'Yeah, B, it's fine,' she said, sounding surprised. 'Mom's being a little short with me but I think she's come to the realisation that I can't change who I am.'

'That's great,' I said, smiling.

'Yeah,' she agreed. 'Listen, B... You've been great, helping me out through all this. I'm sorry I left this morning, I was so shocked that I just had to go see my mom. '

'It's okay,' I said honestly. 'You would do the same for me.'

'Right,' she said. 'So, I was wondering.. Do you want to stay over at mine tonight? I already asked my mom, and she says it's cool. Just as a thank you, you know?'

My heart sped up slightly.

'Um, yeah,' I said breathlessly. 'I mean, I'll ask my mom when I'm home and then it'll all be good.'

'Okay, so text me with what she says.'

'Sure,' I said. 'Bye, San.'

I hung up and tried not to start dancing as I continued walking.

One more night spent with her.

That was enough for me.

**A/N: Sorry for how long this took to come out! I've been super busy this week. But it's almost summer and then I'll be updating more. Hope you enjoyed, leave a review please? Next chapter's going to be interesting...**


	10. Chapter 9

I had soon packed my bags and was heading for Santana's house, which wasn't far away.

As I walked I passed the old treehouse that we used to play in when we were kids. So many memories started there. It was where we first kissed, all those years ago.

I smiled as I walked, feeling elated. It was never easy, trying to keep myself from touching her when we were together. But it was better than keeping away from her completely. At least this way, I got to see her smile.

And make her smile, when I could. Her smile was so beautiful, after all.

I hesitated outside her front door before ringing the bell. Would her parents be angry with me? Would I have to treat her differently when around them? How accepting were they?

But then, the door was opened and Santana was hugging me.

'How did you know I was out here?' I said, confused.

'I've possibly been watching from my window for the last half an hour,' she grinned, leading me inside.

I felt a little lightheaded from her burning touch but I tried to walk straight as I followed her into the kitchen.

'Mom... Dad... Brittany arrived.'

Mr. Lopez didn't even look up, he just grunted. Mrs. Lopez met my eyes and smiled. That was it.

'Um, shall we go upstairs?' asked Santana. I nodded.

'Your parents are still being cold, then,' I observed once we were climbing the stairs.

'Yup,' she said sadly. 'It's getting better, though. I think they're starting to adjust to the idea that I'm gay.'

'I'm proud of you for being honest with them,' I said truthfully.

'I'm proud of me, too,' she laughed.

Once we got to her bedroom, she led me inside, and I frowned.

Everything had changed.

She had painted her walls a lighter colour, which made a huge change to the room. She had replaced her old single bed with a double bed, which was now on the other side of the room.

'Wow,' I said. 'This has changed.'

'Um, yeah,' she said. 'I felt like a change over the summer.'

_You sure did, _I thought.

'Would you mind if I go for a shower?' she asked. 'I didn't have time before you arrived.'

'Sure,' I said, smiling.

She left, and I sat down gingerly on the edge of her bed.

I looked around at all the changes. Her drawers were different, and I took a look inside to find them sorted perfectly. When it used to just be a mess of items thrown in at random.

Her curtains had changed, too. It didn't feel like Santana's room at all. It was like a stranger's.

I looked over at the pictures on top of her dresser. It used to be a display of pictures of us two – posing childishly, dressing up... You could watch our whole childhood by looking at those photos. But now? Nothing. There was two photos – One of Santana on her own, from last year.

And the other picture...

It made my heart sink as I saw who Santana had her arms wrapped around.

It was Jamie.

Because, even though I knew she was dating her, I liked to fool myself into believing she really wanted me. But in the end, it was always Jamie.

I blinked back the tears as I thrust the picture back down, as if burned. I turned back to her bed and flopped onto it, breathing in the smell of her duvet. It was the only thing I recognised in this place.

Santana entered after about five minutes of not moving, and I heard her giggle.

I got up. 'What?'

'You looked like you'd passed out,' she laughed.

I smiled, trying to hold back the sadness.

'So... Do you want to watch a film, or something? It's kind of late...'

'Yeah,' I agreed. 'It's pretty late. Maybe we should just sleep.'

She nodded in agreement, and changed into her pyjamas. I followed suit, and we both headed to the bathroom to brush our teeth.

After that was done, we seemed ready to go to sleep. It wasn't like our old sleepovers – we used to try to stay up all night, but we never managed. We'd get to about 3am and pass out.

I smiled at the memory, and Santana looked at me questioningly.

'What you smiling at?' she asked, sliding under the blanket.

'Just remembering our old sleepovers,' I said, grinning. 'We were so weird back then.'

'We still are, B,' she said, laughing.

I shrugged, and slid under the blankets with Santana.

I stared at the ceiling awkwardly, but I could feel Santana watching me and so I looked round, meeting her eyes.

'What?' I asked softly.

'Nothing,' she whispered, smiling.

She closed her eyes and I watched her sadly until I heard her lightly snoring.

I turned over, trying to get comfortable. But every time I moved, my leg would touch her's and I'd have to move away, scorched.

After much restlessness, I gave up, deciding to just keep still so as to not wake up Santana.

She looked so peaceful when she was sleeping. I'd noticed it before – all the fight she usually shielded herself with, was gone. She looked more content than she ever did while awake.

I brushed the hair away from her face, pressing my lips softly to her forehead. She mumbled something non-coherent, and I tried to stop from giggling.

_Let her sleep, _I told myself. _Let her find peace, at least for a little while._

Santana stirred a few hours later, and I felt her sit up.

I turned, barely able to see her in the dark.

'San? You okay?'

'Yeah,' she said. 'Fine. Just... It's boiling.'

'I know,' I agreed. 'I can't sleep.'

'Do you want to... I don't know... Go for a walk?'

'At this time in the morning? Won't your mum kill us?'

Santana shrugged.

'Maybe,' she said. 'If she finds out.'

I smiled. 'How are we going to do this?'

'We sneak out my window,' she said. 'I've done it so many times.'

'Is it, like, safe?'

'Don't worry. I won't let you get hurt.'

The sincerity of the promise hung between us for a few seconds, until I pulled myself together.

'Let's go.'

Ten minutes later, we'd climbed out Santana's window and down the pipe, jumping the last few feet and hitting the ground with a soft thud.

'You okay, B?' Santana said as I steadied myself. She put her hand on my waist and I froze.

'Yep, fine,' I said, smiling at her nervously, and she delayed a few seconds before letting go of me.

'It's really warm out here too,' she observed.

'Where are we going, then?' I asked curiously.

She hesitated.

'It's a surprise.'

I raised my eyebrows.

'And why's that?'

'You'll see.'

She grabbed my wrist and led me down the street. I could feel how hard she was holding on to my wrist. Like her life depended on it.

'Do you remember that day, B. The day when we sat on a bench and made origami ducks.'

'Yeah,' I said. I wouldn't ever forget that day. It was special. 'I remember.'

'Do you remember how I couldn't fold the paper right?'

'You kept doing it wrong,' I reminisced, grinning. 'And you wouldn't let me teach you.'

'I wanted to make one for you. And I wanted to do it without your help.'

'But you couldn't do it, and I had to help you in the end.'

'Exactly.'

She stopped walking, and pointed to a bench beside the park close by.

'That's the bench, Brittany.'

I frowned at her. 'So...'

'I brought you here for a reason. Because, that day I realised something. You need my help sometimes – help remembering your timetable, help with your homework, and stuff. And there are some things I need help with too. That day at the park... I realised that I need you. And I rely on you more than I would have ever admitted at the time.'

She took my hand in hers and we walked over to the bench and sat down. I could feel my heart pounding against my ribcage, trying desperately to break through.

'And you rely on me. We're... Two halves.'

'Two halves of what? A cake?'

She smiled.

'Two halves... Of the complete picture. We need to be together, to be complete.'

The realisation of what she was saying kicked in.

'But... Jamie...'

'Brittany,' she moved closer, and I could hear her shaking breaths as she squeezed my hand with both of her's. 'It's not about Jamie. I thought it was, but... No matter what happens. I always end up back here.'

'Back where?' I whispered.

'Wherever you are.'

I met her eyes and I saw tears forming there.

'I can't control it. We're... We're _soulmates_, Brittany. I'm sorry for ever doubting that.'

'Soulmates,' I repeated breathlessly.

She moved even closer so our noses were brushing.

I inhaled sharply and was unable to speak as her lips moved closer.

They pressed against mine in a whirlwind of insane passion. Like being hit by a ton of bricks. It was as if my entire life had been leading up to this moment, and this was my first chance to really _live. _

She whimpered softly into my mouth, wrapping her arms around my neck, pulling me closer in desperation.

I wrapped my arms around her back, holding on for dear life as she kissed me with more passion than I could have known was possible.

She pulled away for a second, whispering softly in Spanish, planting gentle kisses against my lips, my cheek, my chin, my neck. I whimpered as her hands ran across my skin, making me feel dizzy.

'Santana,' I cried, my voice cracked and shaky. 'Santana.'

She kissed my lips again, her hands pressed against my cheeks, groaning into my mouth.

'I can't stay away,' she said between kisses. 'I can't.'

I felt the tears on her cheeks and kissed them away.

'This is the way it's meant to be.'

'I won't forget it again,' she promised. I felt her hand intertwine with mine as she pressed her lips to mine once more.

It could have been seconds or hours later when we surfaced.

I couldn't stop my smile as I pulled back, needing more but knowing it was unwise.

'We should go back,' I said, my smile wide.

'You're right,' she agreed, taking my hand in her's and standing up. 'My parents will be asleep, so I say we just let ourselves in through the front door.'

We began to walk and I felt more elated than I'd felt in a long time. I was back where I belonged.

We arrived at her house a few minutes later, and she motioned at me to keep quiet as she opened the door, walking in.

As soon as the door was shut, we were kissing again. I could barely see in the dark but we stumbled through the house, desperate to touch each other, barely caring that our voices were growing louder.

I lay Santana down on the stairs softly, climbing onto her lap and brushing her hair out of her eyes.

She closed her eyes and I kissed each of her eyelids, desperate to remember how they tasted, and to never forget it. Her eyelashes tickled my chin and I giggled, a little too loudly.

But neither of us cared in the heat of the moment, as I placed my lips back against her's.

'Santana? Is that you?'

We froze as a light clicked on from the top floor, and Santana's dad was revealed at the top of the stairs.

All of us froze.

**A/N: Sorry to leave it on such a cliffhanger! Ugh. This chapter. THIS CHAPTER. Please, please review. I would love to hear you feedback, especially on this one. Thank you if you've reviewed, it means so much to me.**


	11. Chapter 10

There was silence in the living room as Santana's family and I sat, avoiding each other's gaze.

It had only been minutes before when they had caught us kissing on their stairs. Kissing that was clearly leading to more, and would have if they hadn't come down the stairs.

I glanced sideways at Santana, who was watching her knees, her cheeks pink.

Mr. Lopez was looking at her with an expression of distaste.

'Would you like to explain, Santana?'

She met his gaze for a second, but looked away, and I couldn't blame her. It was piercing.

'I... I don't know what to say,' she stumbled over her words. 'It just happened – I'm sorry, I don't know... I don't know what I was thinking.'

'Well your mother and I have barely adjusted to the fact you chose to date one girl, and now it turns out you're having secret rendezvous with a different girl? What's happening with you and that Jamie girl?'

_That Jamie girl. _I heard the scorn in his voice as he spoke her name. And he must think of me as ten times worse.

'I'm sorry,' Santana repeated earnestly. 'It won't happen again.'

He stood up and paced back and forth for a few minutes. Santana's mom stood silently in the doorway, watching the meeting's progress with a blank expression.

'There's only one thing for it,' said Mr. Lopez. 'Santana, it's one thing to be dating a girl. I think I can get used to that idea, with time. But I will not let you cheat on someone. Do you have no shame? This is unfair, and I'm disgusted that my own daughter would stoop so low.'

Santana flinched as his words hit her like bullets.

But she pulled herself together, as she always did.

'I know it's unfair.'

'So,' he continued, ignoring Santana. 'You two are no longer allowed to see each other outside school.'

My jaw dropped.

'What? Mr. Lopez, you can't just –'

'Oh yes, I can,' he said sternly. 'And I will.'

Santana stared at him blankly.

'Why are you doing this?' She practically whispered the words.

'Because I care about you,' he said, unconvincingly. 'But I won't let you continue this. You can't have them both, Santana.'

She hesitated, then nodded, looking down.

'I know.'

'So, who are you going to choose?'

I watched her reaction desperately. She would say me, right? She had to say me. We were _soulmates..._ Right?

She turned and looked at me, then back at her dad.

'Give me time.'

He nodded, and left the room without saying goodnight. Mrs Lopez followed him out.

I stared at her with wide eyes.

'Brittany,' she said, as she saw the hurt in my expression. 'No, it's not like that. I choose you, I do. But... Jamie's having a tough time at home. Her parents are fighting a lot.'

'So...?' I pressed desperately.

'I... I can't just ditch her. She needs me right now.'

'So we can't be together,' I concluded.

Her eyes filled with tears.

'I don't want to hurt you,' she said. 'I love you.'

'I know,' I said, and I meant it. 'But we can't be together just yet. I get it.'

She hesitated, on the verge of speech.

'Maybe...'

I frowned. 'Maybe?'

She shifted uncomfortably.

'Maybe we can.'

'Um, how?' I asked, raising my eyebrows.

'I... I don't know,' she admitted. 'We could just... Keep doing what we want to do. But secretly. Until Jamie's sorted her life out a bit. And then I'll break it to her gently.'

I frowned.

'This sounds like a lot could go wrong.'

'It could,' she said, nodding. Taking my hand, she interlocked our fingers. 'But you... Us. Together, like we're meant to be. It's worth the risk.'

I nodded in agreement. 'It's worth all the risks in the world.'

She grimaced a little, then laughed. She wasn't too keen on the cheesy stuff.

'Okay then,' I agreed. 'I'm up for this. But on one condition.'

She frowned. 'And what's that?'

'That when you and Jamie are done... We're going public.'

She bit her lip nervously.

'I don't know, Brittany.'

I squeezed her hand.

'Hey, don't be afraid. We'll have each other. That's all that matters. It's us against the world, okay?'

She nodded, and took a deep, slightly shaky breath.

'But... Until then... My dad won't let me see you outside school.'

'We still have school time, and glee club,' I reminded her. 'It's not all bad.'

'And I'm sure I'll find a way to sneak out,' she grinned. 'Nothing I haven't done before.'

I smiled, and she moved in closer, trying to kiss me.

But I pushed her back gently.

'Not here,' I explained. 'Let's go upstairs?'

I pulled her to her feet and interlocked our fingers as we ran up the stairs, giggling and trying to keep our voices down.

We fell onto Santana's bed with a soft thud, all the awkwardness of the previous evening, gone.

As we kissed, she reached for my hand and linked our pinkies, and I smiled against her sweet lips.

'I'm tired,' I said.

'Yeah,' she whispered back. 'Me too.'

I kissed her forehead and turned away.

'Goodnight, Santana.'

'Night, B. I love you.'

My next four words came out as a sigh of longing.

'I love you too. So much.'

I awoke to the sound of an alarm, groaning. I opened my eyes to blinding light and hurriedly pressed down on the alarm to stop it.

'Ugh,' I muttered groggily. 'What happened.'

I turned towards my right, and saw the sleeping form of Santana Lopez beside me, legs draped around me protectively.

And the memory of last night came rushing back to me with the force of a speeding train.

I let out an audible gasp, and Santana stirred.

'Mmm, B,' she said, rolling away. 'Why are you here.'

'Um,' I said, raising my eyebrows. 'You invited me. Last night. Remember?'

She stopped mid-turn and gasped louder than I had.

She turned back to me and stared.

'Oh my God,' she said. But she didn't look upset. She looked... Happy.

Then she jumped on me, pinning me beneath her on the bed and staring down at me.

'I did it,' she said, smiling. 'I told you.'

'Um, yeah,' I said. 'If it actually happened...'

'It did.'

'Okay, I was just checking, I mean... I thought it might have been a dream.'

She raised an eyebrow and moved off me so that I could sit up, but kept her face close to mine.

'Do you dream about me often, Brittany?'

'No,' I said, a little too quickly.

She grinned and moved closer.

'Uhm, okay, maybe once or... Once or twice.' It was hard to breathe steadily when she was this close.

'What happened in these dreams?'

She was grinning as she moved even closer, and I struggled to form words.

'K-Kissing you,' I said. _Crap, I just said that out loud._

'Kissing me?' she repeated. 'What, like... This?'

She rubbed her nose against mine, an Eskimo kiss. I could feel the heat glowing on my cheeks.

She was too close. But not close enough. I could feel her breath mixing with mine in the small space between us.

'Not exactly,' I said, wanting her too badly.

'Oh... So maybe like this?'

She cupped my face in her hands and pressed her lips softly against mine.

I immediately groaned and deepened the kiss, unable to stop myself.

I pushed her backwards so she was lying on her back and continued kissing her passionately, never wanting to stop.

'I love you,' I whispered as I kissed her neck. 'San, I love you.'

'Brittany,' she whimpered. 'I love you too.'

Then we heard movement from outside Santana's door and I hastily rolled off the bed and onto the floor.

Santana giggled and got off the bed, helping me to my feet, just before Mrs Lopez entered.

'Morning, girls,' she said sternly. 'Get ready for school. Just to let you know that your father and I are off to work.'

'Okay,' Santana replied meekly. 'See you later.'

Her mom left the room., and I frowned.

'They're treating you so badly right now.'

'They always treat me badly,' she said, shrugging. 'I'm used to it.'

After we were dressed and ready, we went downstairs for breakfast, holding hands.

'Looks like we're walking to school again,' she sighed as we ate hurriedly. 'My car's still under repair.'

'I'm okay with that,' I said, moving towards her. 'More time for us.'

I took her hands in mine and kissed her softly, savouring the taste of her lips. Because I knew I'd have to wait for God knows how long, until it could happen again.

She pulled away too quickly.

'Woah, okay, we're going to be late if you keep kissing me like that,' she said breathlessly.

'Sorry,' I said, grinning.

'No you're not,' she replied, pushing me playfully.

'You're right, I'm not,' I laughed.

Just then, Santana's phone rang.

She watched it worriedly for a few seconds before walking over and picking it up.

'Hello? Oh, hi, Jamie...'

My heart sank, settling somewhere around my ankles.

'Uh, no thanks. Mom's taking me in today. Yeah, it's her... Day off. Her other day off. Yeah, she has two. Okay. Bye. I know.'

She hung up, taking a deep breath to pull herself together.

'You feel bad,' I observed as we walked to her door.

'Yes,' she admitted, opening it and leading me out. 'I feel terrible.'

'But?'

I just wanted to hear her say it.

'But I love you. Not her. And it's better this way.'

'What if she finds out?'

'She won't,' she said hurriedly. But she looked anxious.

'Don't worry, we can be careful.'

She smiled at me, locking the door behind her.

We began walking, out of her garden and onto the main street. It was a fairly long walk and although we walked in almost silence, it wasn't the awkward kind. It was like we were thinking the things we wanted to say, but couldn't.

Eventually, I couldn't hold back any longer.

I reached out my hand and touched her's, pulling it into my grasp.

She looked sideways at me, and her expression of fear made me let go.

Then, she pulled herself together. 'No, it's okay,' she said, smiling bravely and taking my hand once more.

By the time we got within a block's distance of the school, we were forced to let go of each other. Students would start appearing around now, and we knew we couldn't risk being seen.

We met Artie and Puck out the front – clearly awaiting the rest of Glee Club so they could find out the winners of the duets competition together.

'Hey,' we greeted them. 'Waiting for the others?'

'Yeah,' they grinned. 'Hey, there's Blaine.'

I looked to where they were pointing and there he was, looking a little somber.

'Hey,' Blaine greeted us. 'Brittany, I was wondering if I could talk to you? Like, privately.'

I nodded, and walked away, looking back at Santana who looked worried.

I mouthed, it's okay, at her, and followed him.

We stopped beside some bins a few metres away – just out of earshot.

'Have you heard about Karofsky yet?'

I frowned.

'No, I haven't really spoken to anyone this weekend. What's happening with him?'

He sighed, looking around before turning back to me.

'He came out,' he explained. 'He came out as gay. Last night.'

I gasped. 'What? Karofsky?'

He nodded.

Everything began to fit into place in my mind.

'Did you know he was gay, before?'

He nodded again.

'He kissed Kurt last year.'

My eyes widened.

'When!'

'Before he threatened to kill him. Before all that stuff.'

I shook my head. Nothing was going in.

'...And you're worried, because he likes Kurt.'

'Exactly,' he said. 'I just knew I could trust you, Brittany. You trusted me about the Santana thing. So I'm trusting you now.'

'Don't worry. Is there anything I can do?'

'If you could convince Kurt to stay with me,' he said, upset. 'But I'm afraid he'll want Karofsky now.'

'He doesn't,' I assured him. 'He told us all that he still loves you, but he doesn't know what to do.'

'I don't know what to do either. I love him, too.'

'Then tell him,' I pushed. 'Seriously, tell him or you'll spend your whole life regretting it. Don't let Karofsky win this one.'

He nodded. 'Thanks, Britt.'

'It's okay,' I smiled. 'Now, let's go see if we won this duet competition.'

He grinned, and we walked off, to find that everyone else had already gone inside.

The list was up outside the choir room and everyone was huddled round it, most looking disappointed. I squinted at the list.

**Winners of the duets competition – Rachel&Quinn**

I sighed. 'Ugh, we were so much better than them.'

I looked around, wanting to see Quinn and Rachel's reactions, but they weren't there.

'Where are they?'

'Went to the bathroom,' said Artie, looking disappointed. Him and Puck's rendition of Cooler Than Me had been impressive, after all.

I motioned to Santana to follow me.

We walked down the corridor and into the bathroom, only to find Quinn being pushed up against the wall by Rachel.

When they heard the door open they fell apart hurriedly. But not quick enough.

'Guys,' I said, half exasperated, half amused. 'You are the most unsneaky gays I've ever known.'

They stared at me.

'You... You knew?'

'Oh, please,' said Santana. 'We're not stupid. Everyone knows.'

They looked worried.

'Everyone in glee club, anyways,' she mended. 'But word is gonna spread if you don't keep it on the down low.'

Quinn glared at Santana, taking Rachel's hand.

'We'll see you guys.'

They left, and me and Santana started laughing.

'When did you find out about those two?'

'I saw them making out in the car park last week,' she said, rolling her eyes. 'And we all knew Quinn's had a thing for Rachel for a while now.'

'Yeah,' I agreed, smiling. 'Talking about her non-stop all Summer, then saying she hated her. So obvious.'

'We're pretty obvious, too, though,' Santana observed.

'Not anymore,' I said. 'I think two years ago, everyone realised there was something going on. But not so much now.'

'They don't know anything, then,' she said, moving towards me.

I moved forwards too, until our lips touched.

'Hey,' I said as she pulled me in closer, and I was forced to break the kiss. 'We have Spanish now. Let's not be late.'

'Ugh, it's just Mr Schue, who gives?' she argued, trying to recapture my lips, but I pressed a finger to her's.

'Later. Come on.'

We walked to Spanish in silence, sitting in our seats. Only a few weeks ago, Santana had told me she was seeing someone else as we sat here.

I smiled as I felt her foot under the desk, and placed mine on top of her's.

'Britt,' she whispered, 'what are you doing?'

'Nothing,' I said innocently.

I took her hand in mine under the desk, stroking the skin there.

I felt her shudder a little under my touch, and grinned.

'B, you have got to stop touching me like that.'

'Like what?' I said, playing confused. 'I'm not even touching you, Santana.'

She gave me a sideways glare, but let me continue.

After class was over, the rest of the day was just a blur. All I could think of was Santana, and how we were secretly dating, and the excitement of it all. I barely thought about Rachel and Quinn, or Kurt and Blaine. Or Karofsky, although he was the talk of the school right now.

All that mattered was her. Keeping her happy, and well. Making her smile.

It's all I needed.

**A/N: Hey, look at that! A chapter with less than 20% angst. What is this. Really hope you enjoyed. Away on holiday for the next week but I'm bringing my laptop, so I'll probably be updating MORE than usual, haha. Review, please? It keeps me motivated.**


	12. Chapter 11

What with Santana's mistrusting parents and schoolwork, which was growing more and more difficult, meeting with Santana became next to impossible.

For the first week or two after Mr Lopez had caught us, we barely spoke. Sometimes I would catch her eye during a Glee club meeting, and hastily look away. We'd decided we needed to keep ever our friendship under wraps, at least for a little while. And build it up gradually.

We were now preparing for Sectionals as it was only two weeks or so before we would be performing – Rachel and Quinn doing their duet, and a group number of which the song had yet to be chosen. I'd had my suggestions, but Mr Schue hadn't seen keen for a group rehearsal of My Headband, which was a shame.

It was that evening when I was hit by my first bout of Santana withdrawal symptoms. I wished I could see her, or at least phone her. I remembered every line on her face when she smiled, the way her hair fell, the way her hairs stood on end when our legs brushed under the desk in Spanish.

Accidentally, of course.

I was lying flat on my back, remembering those things, when my phone buzzed. I didn't check who was phoning immediately, because I wasn't really in the mood, but when I checked it I got a surprise.

It was Santana.

I pressed the phone to my ear hastily.

'San?'

'Brittany!'

I felt my heart leap.

'How did you...'

'Found my phone. My parents are out.'

'They just left you on your own when you're grounded?'

'Apparently they're really dumb,' she said smugly. Then she hesitated before adding, 'Come over.'

My turn to hesitate.

'When are they home?'

'Well, they said midnight,' she admitted. 'But knowing my parents and their work parties, they won't be home until like, two.'

'I don't know,' I said. 'I don't want to get you in any more trouble.'

'It's worth it,' she pressed. 'It's so worth it.'

'Come here then.'

There was a pause.

'But your mum...'

'She won't mind,' I said hastily. 'She likes you.'

'Well, alright, but let's sit in the garden or something, okay? I don't want to wake her.'

'It's not that late,' I said, grinning. 'Look, just hurry up. I need to see you.'

'Yeah, me too,' she murmured.

I whispered words I knew she caught, and hung up.

It only took Santana fifteen minutes to arrive. I suspected, from how out of breath she sounded on the phone, that she had ran.

'Look outside,' she said breathlessly.

I did, greeted by the sight of a radiant-looking Santana.

'Hi,' I murmured, opening the window.

'Come down,' she said, smiling. 'Like we did when we were kids.'

I frowned.

'Um, I was like ten,' I said worriedly. 'I don't think I could get out.'

'Try,' she pleaded. 'I'm here. I'll catch you, or something.'

I grinned, and began to climb out.'

'Jesus, it's higher than I remembered.'

'Careful,' she said, voice full of worry.

My foot reached the pipe and I reached for it desperately, luckily reaching it.

I exhaled in relief as I slid down it, bending my legs slightly as I made contact with the ground.

When I turned, Santana was standing there, and I marvelled at how lost I'd felt, being away from her for a mere week.

'God, I've missed you,' she whispered.

I pulled her to me frantically, my hands finding her cheeks as our lips met in a whirlwhind of passion, and pent-up love.

I whispered sweet, perfect words as we kissed, until she pulled away.

'Santana,' I groaned, trying to recapture her lips.

'Brittany, you're so greedy today,' she laughed.

'I've been resisting you all week,' I said, a little peeved.

She shook her head in exasperation, and grabbed my hand.

'Come on,' she said, pulling me along with her.

'Where are we going?' I said, bemused.

'Treehouse.'

My stomach lurched. The scene of our first kiss?

_We had built it in the summer that we met – we were both seven and needed a lot of help from my Dad. But once it was done, we would spend hours at a time up there together, oblivious to the rest of the world._

_So, on the day that Santana turned thirteen, we'd had enough practice of climbing the steep ladder._

_She climbed up first, her dark hair billowing behind her in the breeze. I always struggled to find a handhold near the top and she had to reach out a hand to pull me up. I secretly quite enjoyed these times, though I never told her that._

_Once we were up, panting slightly, we sat up against the back wall as always. We didn't speak at first – we didn't need to. We just sat there in the silence, listening to each other's breathing and stealing glances at each other._

'_B, there's a spider in your hair,' said Santana, reaching over to brush it out, all smiles._

'_Is it gone?' I said, when her hand lingered on my locks._

'_Uh, yes.'_

_I frowned. Her hand now moved to stroke my cheek and I felt the heat rising in my face._

'_W...What are you doing?'_

_She smiled sadly, moving closer so that her face was inches from mine._

'_I've decided what I want for my birthday.'_

_I struggled to hear her over the sound of my pounding heart._

'_Uh... What?'_

'_I... Want to try something.'_

_I looked into her dark eyes, and I couldn't hide my sudden fear._

'_Don't freak out,' she murmured softly. She was drawing closer. I couldn't breath, I couldn't think of anything but the dark shade of her lips as they drew closer, obliterating all my senses. Her eyelids were closed and I hurriedly closed mine to match._

_Her lips touched mine for the briefest of seconds, in which my mind became icily clear and I heard the tiniest whimper that left her, before she pulled away. She looked shocked with herself._

_And then I was kissing her with more fervour than I thought I contained, and she was kissing me back._

_And although in reality I was suffering from the hard schoolwork and Santana's parents were fighting, it seemed perfectly okay to sit in this old treehouse and kiss Santana, and forget the world._

I remembered how easy everything had felt when I kissed Santana for the first time, as she climbed up the rotting wooden ladder to our tree house.

I remembered how literally nothing had mattered except that I had a chance to kiss her again – and although I hadn't realised it at the time, I had been in love with her since the first moment our lips met. I was just too young to understand.

When she was up, she automatically reached out her hand to help me up, even though I probably could have found a hand hold somewhere.

I took her hand, blushing a little, and she pulled me up into her arms.

Her hands found my hips and she pulled me close, and I gasped slightly. I could feel our hearts beating extremely fast against one another.

She smiled, but it was a sad smile, like the one she had worn on that day so many years ago.

She sat down against the back wall and I followed suit, unable to take my eyes off her lips.

'I love you,' I said before I could stop myself. 'God, I love you.'

'I love you,' she repeated, almost like she was tasting the words on her tongue. 'I love you, I love you, I love you.'

And then we were kissing again, and once more I could forget about all the drama at school, Karofsky coming out, Glee club fights and make-ups, our preparation for Sectionals.

I realised that Santana had that affect on me, whatever the circumstance. I wondered if she could ever grow as attached to me, as I was to her.

And had always been.

**A/N: Jeez, this took me ages. Sorry about that, was enjoying the sunshine. But it's back to work now, though. (Then again, I say that every time) Wow, so many reviews already, I never thought I'd get this far. Please keep it up, I adore hearing your feedback. **


	13. Chapter 12

The treehouse became what you might call our refuge for the next few weeks. Santana's parents weren't easing up - she was still banned from seeing me. But they were not aware that their child was climbing out of her window every night to visit me.

Sometimes, I'd let Santana in. My mom usually went to bed early so we usually went unheard as we climbed the stairs and snuck into my bedroom. I doubt she would have minded that Santana was round, but then again, she didn't know about our secret romance.

Jamie knew just as little, though we both guessed she must be getting suspicious. She spent every day blowing up Santana's phone with texts and phone calls, and sometimes Santana would text back, but not often. I was happy that Santana told me when Jamie invited her out - I helped her come up with good excuses. But they were getting more and more wearisome, and repetitive. We both knew the game was nearly up.

Which is why I decided to let Santana meet with her.

I knew it might be crazy - so many things could go wrong. Santana could change her mind and go back to Jamie. Or, even worse, she could let slip about me, and then Jamie would know everything.

But on the other hand, if Santana kept ignoring her, she was going to assume the worst.

'Are you sure, B?' Santana asked worriedly. 'You're sure I can meet up with her?'

We were sitting in my kitchen, on the table. My parents had been out all day, at a dinner party tonight, and Santana had convinced her dad that she was studying at Quinn's. It was dark outside, already - and slightly eerie-looking.

'You don't need my permission, San,' I said, faking a smile. 'This is for the best. Go meet up with her, see what happens. Just... Be careful.'

Santana watched me, looking upset. 'B, I don't want to...'

'I trust you,' I said. And it was the truth. 'I trust you not to get back with her, or anything. I just know you aren't ready to break up with her.'

'I'm ready,' she corrected. 'She's the one who isn't.'

'Well, I know you care about her enough... To not want to hurt her. I know how it feels. I've been there.'

Artie flashes into my mind briefly. I suppose Santana was in a similar situation.

'With Artie, right?' Santana reaches out and touches my arm.

'Yeah,' I said, smiling sadly. 'It's the same situation. But at the end of the day, I love you more.'

Santana reached up and pressed her lips against mine softly.

'Thank you,' she whispered.

Then she was gone.

I watched her leave out the kitchen window, my stomach feeling queasy. She disappears into the night before she's reached the gate.

_I trust her, _I thought in my head, sitting down on the sofa. _I trust her..._

I pulled my knees up to my chest and closed my eyes, sitting like that for at least half an hour without moving.

Eventually, I felt Lord Tubbington jump onto the sofa beside me, and I opened my eyes to watch him.

He looked at me sadly, and I rolled my eyes.

'Don't look at me like that, Lord Tubs,' I said, peeved. 'I know what you're thinking.'

He meowed softly, his eyes narrowing.

'Yeah, well,' I said, turning away. 'Think what you like. I know I'm doing the right thing.'

He just watched me.

'Will you stop it? I want to be alone, okay.'

He turned and jumped off the couch. I watched him until he turned the corner, out of sight.

'Stupid cat,' I muttered angrily.

_I wonder what San's up to now, _I thought.

I could almost see Jamie running towards her, arms outstretched. And I could see Santana running back to her, taking Jamie in her arms, holding her tight... I could see Santana reaching up and kissing her girlfriend, the same way she had kissed me this morning.

'NO!' I shouted, before I could stop myself. 'Stop it, Britt.'

I looked around for something to take my mind off it, but I couldn't find anything. I got up and paced the room nervously, opening and shutting cupboard doors, trying to keep the images out of my head.

It wasn't long before I spotted the bottles above the fridge - perched carelessly, almost waiting to be opened.

_It might help, _I thought. _Maybe I'll forget about Santana. Just for a little while._

I reached for one, not checking the label before opening it and pressing it to my lips.

This wasn't the type of drinking you did at parties - not the type of drinking I did at Rachel's house party, or any of Puck's. This was different. It was a way of dealing with pain I felt, over something stupid, insignificant.

I suppose a part of me wanted to prove to Santana that I needed her more than Jamie did.

I reached the end of the bottle and I felt it drop from my hand and smash on the kitchen floor.

Then there were tears. I had felt them building ever since Santana had told me Jamie wanted to meet her in town tonight. And now they burned on my cheeks, but I didn't try to stop them flowing. I let them fall. In a way, it helped.

I felt myself sink down against the wall and curl up there, crying. Waiting for Santana's return.

**Santana POV**

By the time I left Jamie by her bus stop, I felt sick.

We had gone to see a film - I'd let her pay. I had tried to act normal, but it was hard when I felt so fricking out of place. Things weren't as they used to be. I wanted Brittany to be there instead, more than anything. So, when Jamie reached in to kiss me, and I had no way out, I let her. I closed my eyes and saw Brittany's face burning against my eyelids.

It was just like old times, when I would kiss guys and just see Brittany. Though, I never knew why.

I walked hurriedly down Britt's street, breaking into a run when I got near enough.

I sprinted to her door and rang the bell, waiting.

No one came.

I waited. Rang the doorbell again. Still no one.

'Britt!' I called nervously. 'B, you in there?'

I knocked on the door. Pressed the doorbell over and over.

_Maybe she's upstairs and can't hear you, _I thought.

Hurriedly, I walked around the side of her house so I could see her bedroom window. I picked up a pebble and chucked it. Still nothing.

'Britt!' I called, more worriedly now. 'Brittany!'

I ran back to the front, desperately searching for a spare key. It didn't take me long to find one - it was under a flowerpot beside the door.

I shoved the key into the lock and turned, pushing the door open.

'Britt?'

_Where is she? _I thought, and I felt scared now.

I ran through into the living room to find the TV on, but no Brittany.

I called out again, but I wasn't expecting to hear a reply any more.

I ran into the kitchen, and gasped.

She was there. Curled up against the wall, throwing up into a bucket, broken glass covering the floor all around her.

'Brittany!' I yelled, kneeling down beside her.

She looked up, her ocean eyes finding mine.

'Santana,' she croaked.

'What happened, Britt!' I shook her but her eyes were closing. 'Britt!'

I looked around for some sign of what had happened, and saw the bottles on top of the fridge. I put two and two together and everything snapped into place.

'Fuck!' I yelled, standing up and reaching for a phone.

I dialled the emergency number, but then hesitated. If an ambulance came... My parents would eventually find out I was here. It was selfish, stupid, but I pressed cancel, and started again, dialling Mrs. Pierce's number.

Brittany had mentioned that she was at a dinner party tonight, but there was no time to hesitate.

'Hello?' Mrs Pierce's calm voice met my ears.

'Mrs Pierce, it's Santana,' I said hurriedly, 'You need to come home now.'

'What?' she said, her voice rising in alarm. 'What's happened? Is Brittany -'

'I - I don't know,' I said, holding back tears. 'I just came in, she was lying on the floor, I think she's been drinking something -'

'She's what!'

'What do I do, Mrs Pierce? Should I call an ambulance?'

'No,' she said, sounding worried. 'You need to move her, though. What room are you in?'

'Th-The kitchen,' I said.

'Carry her to the couch, and keep watch over her until I get home.'

'How long will you be!'

'I don't know, ten minutes? Please look after my daughter, Santana.'

'Always,' I whispered, and I heard her hang up.

I threw the phone back down and kneeled beside Brittany again.

'Britt, I need to move you,' I said. But she was long gone.

I put my right arm around her back, and my left arm under her legs and heaved. It was a good thing I'd done all that cheerios training.

I hurriedly lifted her over to the couch and placed her down carefully.

She stirred, and opened her eyes.

'Santana,' she said, her eyes full of tears. 'Sorry.'

'It's okay, Britt,' I said, feeling like a hole had been punched through my chest. 'I'm sorry, too.'

_This is my fault, _I thought, the realisation hitting me with the force of a train. _It's all my fault._

I sat down on the floor, against the coffee table, and watched her as the tears began to fall once again.

'I'm so sorry.'

**Brittany POV**

The first things I noticed when I woke up, were that I was lying in my bed, and it was morning.

I looked around, confused. Not remembering how I ended up there.

Then I spotted Santana, curled up in the chair beside my bed.

'Santana!' I cried, not knowing why she was here. Then I realised she was fast asleep.

Suddenly, my door opened, and my mom came in.

'Mom... What...'

'Do you remember what happened last night?'

I frowned.

'What happened with what?'

My mom watched me, looking upset.

'You don't remember anything, do you.'

I frowned, trying to think of what happened yesterday. Santana was round... And then she met up with Jamie... And then... Oh.

'Oh,' I repeated, out loud this time.

'Oh indeed.'

'Mom... I didn't... I'm sorry -'

'Brittany,' she said, moving closer. 'What made you do it?'

I looked into her eyes, and then my eyes darted to Santana.

Mrs Pierce frowned. 'Santana had something to do with this, didn't she?'

'No, it's not like that... I was just sad.'

'You were sad,' Mom repeated.

'Y-Yeah... Really sad.'

'About what, exactly?'

I looked down, not wanting to meet my mom's eyes.

'You can tell me, Brittany,' she reassured. 'I'm here for you. Whatever it is.'

'I dont know if you will be...'

'I will,' she said firmly. 'I promise.'

I sighed. 'Fine... I'm... In love.'

She frowned. 'Right... Who is he? And what does Santana have to do with it?'

I looked away, waiting for it to fit into place in my mom's mind, as I knew it would.

'Oh my God.' There we go.

I looked back at her, defiant.

'You're in love... With... Her?'

I nodded slowly.

'Mom, I should have told you sooner, I just... Couldn't.'

'It's okay,' she said. 'I get it.'

I watched her carefully.

'You're okay with it?'

She sighed.

'Well, I'm not overjoyed or anything,' she said. 'But... If that's what makes you happy, then I can only be happy for you. And I can't pretend I didn't see this coming.'

I looked up. 'You knew?'

'You two were crazy about each other,' she said, smiling sadly. 'Always together. Inseperable. Two halves of one person.'

I felt tears coming, and pulled her in for a hug.

'Thank you,' I whispered softly.

'Yeah, well,' she said uncomfortably. 'You're my daughter.'

She pulled away, standing up.

'What you did was really stupid, Brittany. Like, really stupid. Consider this a warning.'

I nodded.

'I hope things work out with Santana.'

She left.

I looked over at Santana, who was smiling.

'Hey!' I said, throwing a pillow at her. 'You were awake?'

'Maaaaybe,' she said in a sing-song voice, moving closer.

Then I remembered that she was the reason it had happened last night.

'I'm sorry,' I said quickly. 'I overreacted. I know you wouldn't do anything with Jamie, I just kept thinking it, and... Lord Tubbington told me you would and...'

Santana looked hurt.

'You obviously didn't trust me... And you were right not to.'

My eyes widened. 'What?'

'She kissed me,' she said, the words tumbling from her mouth. 'She kissed me, there was nothing I could do, I'm sorry -'

'You kissed her back, didn't you,' I said, feeling suddenly sore and tired.

She hesitated. It was the confirmation I needed.

'Right,' I said, feeling sick. 'Right then.'

'It didn't mean anything, B -'

'I'm tired,' I said firmly, even though I wasn't. I turned over so that she couldn't see the hurt in my expression.

I heard her muffled footsteps as she walked over to the bed, and sat down on the edge. By the sound of her breathing, I knew she was facing away from me.

'Nothing,' she said. 'I felt nothing, when I kissed her. Just emptiness.'

I turned back to watch her.

'B... I realised how wrong I was to ever start dating her. It wasn't fair - this isn't fair. I'm sorry for ever starting this.'

'So what are you going to do?'

She took a deep breath.

'I'm breaking up with Jamie. Tonight.'

**Puck POV**

She had called me that afternoon, sounding upset.

I felt elated when she told me she wanted to meet up - she had something to tell me, something important.

I mean, we'd been meeting up in town for the past couple months, ever since I was introduced to Jamie by Brittany and Kurt. I still dunno why they did that, but boy am I not complaining. The girl's hot.

'What's up?' I said, when I spotted her in our usual meeting spot. I strode over and sat down beside her on the bench, not looking at her. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

'You need to stop doing that,' said Jamie, still not looking at me.

I eyed her curiously. 'And why's that, Jams?'

She glared at me now. How she hated that nickname.

'It's not exactly good for you... Or legal.'

'Piss off,' I said, grinning. 'You just can't handle this amount of badassness.'

She snorted. 'Please.'

We sat in silence for a few minutes.

'I... have something to tell you, Puckerman.'

'How many times, it's _Puck,' _I corrected her. 'But fine, I have something to tell you too.'

She looked sideways at me.

'You first, then.'

I rolled my eyes and looked away.

'Ugh, right,' I began. 'I... wanted you to know that, I like you. A lot. And... I want us to start dating properly.'

She just stared at me blankly.

'Huh?'

Before I could stop myself, I leaned in, trying to kiss her. But she pushed me away, and laughed.

'Hey,' I said, angry. 'What's funny?'

'Puck...' she said hesitantly. 'I'm seeing someone.'

_What._

My turn to laugh.

'Stop lying,' I said, nervously. 'You would have told me.'

'She made me keep it a secret.'

_'She_?'

'S-Santana..'

My eyes widened.

'Hold up,' I said. 'You're dating _Satan Lopez?_'

She nodded. 'I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I -'

'Hang on. You're dating Santana. Brittany introduced us. Oh, holy _crap._'

She frowned. 'Huh?'

'Brittany introduced me to you because she wants you and Santana to break up. _Brittany is in love with Santana. _Sweet Cheesus, I knew they'd had a thing, but -'

'Wait, Brittany couldn't have worked out that plan by herself,' said Jamie. 'She's not that clever.'

I pondered on it, the answer coming to me quickly. '_Kurt.'_

'Who?'

'Kurt helped her! Oh my God, we need to tell Santana...'

'Santana wouldn't break up with me over Brittany,' Jamie said. 'Britt's been wasting her time.'

'I'm not so sure,' I said. 'Hang on.'

I stood up and walked a few metres away, pulling out my phone.

Hurriedly, I dialled Brittany's number, and pressed Call.

**A/N: Ooh, drama chapter! How exciting. Sorry this was so depressing. Aaand sorry that it took such a long time. Remember, more reviews means faster updating.**


	14. Chapter 13

I was sitting flat on my back, reading Seventeen, when my phone buzzed and I ran over to it, expecting to see Santana's name flashing on my screen.

But it wasn't. It was Puck's.

Frowning, I pressed the green button and placed the phone to my ear.

'Puck?'

'Brittany,' he said. 'Are you gonna tell me what the hell is going on?'

I stayed silent. 'What do you mean?'

'You know full well what I mean, Brittany. _Jamie.'_

'J-Jamie?' I felt my heart plummet. This couldn't be happening. Not now. Not when everything was going so well.

'Yes, Jamie,' he said coldly. 'Remember her? Remember how she's dating Santana? Forgot to mention that little detail, didn't you? Slipped your mind, did it?'

'Woah Puck, calm down, it was an acc -'

'An accident? No it wasn't. Jesus, Britt. I really, really like this girl. I've never felt this way about anyone. You manipulated me. You have really fucked things up this time.'

'No, it's not like that! I never meant to hurt anyone, I just...'

'Fell in love with Santana? Didn't fight for her? Let her go, then decided you wanted her back? Decided to use me as a way to get to her? I can't believe you actually thought that would work.'

'How did you even find out?' I asked, my brain jammed.

'I tried to kiss her, Brittany,' he said, his voice icy. 'And she rejected me. So much for your plan.'

'Puck...'

'Save your breath,' he said. 'Does Santana know this has been going on? Maybe if she knew, things would be different.'

'No, you can't tell her! She wouldn't forgive me... Please, Puck, I'm begging you -'

'She deserves to know.'

I stayed silent. I knew he would do it.

'I'm sorry,' I whispered. 'I'm so sorry, Puck.'

He hung up. Still, I held the phone to my ear, listening to the high-pitched beep that followed his rejection of my apology.

In a few moments, Santana would know. And then she would call, I just knew it. And she wouldn't forgive me.

I sat there on my bed and felt everything I'd built for myself crashing down around me - all the love, all the passion, everything. It would be gone in a few moments, and I'd be left to pick up the pieces.

Then came the regret. I could hardly believe how stupid I'd been - I'd let Puck develop feelings for a girl he could never have. I could have stopped that happening, but I didn't - hell, I practically instigated it.

I don't know exactly how long I sat there, considering the possibilities of what might happen. But before I knew it, my voice was buzzing again and I scooped it up hastily, my heart thumping against my ribcage.

It was Santana.

_Please forgive me._

'Hello?'

'I trusted you.'

I remained silent, unsure what to say.

'I trusted you,' she said, her breath heaving. I realised she was sobbing, 'and you let me down. I fought for you, and you were lying to me. This whole relationship has been one huge lie. How can I trust you now, Brittany? How do I know you won't manipulate me, too, just to get your way?'

'Santana, I -'

'Don't.' Her tone was icy but her voice racked with sobs.

'Santana, please! It's me. I never meant to hurt anybody. I'm stupid. I'm so freaking stupid and I can't stop it, I do stupid things all the time and I wish I was a better person but I'm not. I promise you, I would never, ever try and hurt you. Trust me.'

'I don't,' she said.

And then her voice was gone - she hadn't hung up, but I heard a clatter as her phone hit the floor, probably on the other side of the room. I held my phone to my ear and listened, with horror, to her muffled sobs. I could almost see her lying face down on her bed, crying into her pillow.

'Santana!', I shouted, but I knew she wouldn't hear it. 'Fuck!'

I hung up, chucking my phone aswell, so it hit the opposite wall and shattered.

'Shit,' I groaned as I lay down. 'I've screwed this all up. It's all gone. Everything.'

I heard a knock, and then the sound of my door opening, but I didn't look up, just chucked a pillow in the general direction of my door.

'Get out!', I yelled.

'Brittany, what's wrong?' It was my mom's voice, and I looked up through teary eyes.

'Nothing,' I mumbled. 'I'm fine.'

'What is it with kids saying they're fine when it's clear that they aren't?' My mom smiled sadly, walking over and sitting down on the edge of the bed.

'Fine,' I admitted. 'I'm not okay. Santana hates me.'

Mom frowned. 'Why? What did you do?'

'Everything,' I said, and my voice broke.

Then it all came tumbling out - the story of what had happened over summer, me and Kurt's plans to get Santana back, me and Santana's cheating on Jamie, and now Puck finding out and being heartbroken. My mom listened, her expression becoming more sour by the minute.

'Brittany,' she said, once I'd finished. 'Do you love Santana?'

'Yes,' I croaked. 'More than anything. More than everything.'

'Then go and get her back.'

I stared at her in wonder. 'Wh-what?'

'I've seen love die when it doesn't need to - I've seen far too many people give up their loved ones because they weren't bold enough to fight for them. And that isn't happening with you. Fight for her, Brittany.'

I smiled, and nodded. 'Okay.'

**This is Brittany. Meet me for coffee.**

I sent the text - then regretted it. I'd had Jamie's number unnecessarily; stealing it off Santana's phone when she was sleeping on the couch one time.

I wasn't even sure what I planned to say to her, to be honest. I just... needed to prove that I was brave enough. And I needed to feel like I was taking some form of action to get Santana back.

Also, I needed to apologize.

She texted back almost immediately, telling me the small coffee shop and the time I should meet her there. I pocketed my phone and left the house.

I was there within half an hour and I peered through the window, trying to locate her in the crowd of people inside the coffee shop. I soon spotted her - sitting on her own against the far wall. She was smiling at me through the glass; it wasn't a kind smile.

I gulped. This was it. I had to do it.

I entered, walking over to where she sat, coffee in hand. Her radiance seemed to have caught the attention of every male in the room and I sat down opposite her nervously.

'Brittany,' she said, still smiling.

'Jamie,' I replied nervously. 'Thanks for.. for meeting me.'

She said nothing, just watched me.

'I.. I asked to meet you here for a few reasons. But the main one, was to apologize.'

She raised her eyebrows. 'For what?'

'For keeping you away from Santana by using Puck as a distraction... For everything. I'm sorry.'

'Are you sorry for having sex with my girlfriend?'

My eyes widened. 'W-What?'

'I know, Brittany,' she said in a pained voice. 'I know she cheated on me with you.'

I watched her, feeling angry with myself. 'How did you find out?'

'It wasn't exactly hard to work out. She stopped answering my calls, stopped texting me back.. And when she did make contact with me, it was to tell me that she couldn't meet up because she was busy. And then, after Puck tried to kiss me, and we realised what you had been planning... Well, it all just fell into place.'

I gulped, my throat dry. 'Listen, Jamie -'

'I'm not gonna argue with you about this, Brittany,' she said coldly. 'I'm going to get Santana back. I already am.'

I frowned. 'What? How?'

'She hates you, Brittany.'

I winced at the blunt truth in this statement. I had known that she was angry at me, but _hate..._

'No,' I said out loud, shaking my head violently. 'Santana would never hate me.'

'Well, she does,' Jamie said, her gaze stony. 'And she's going to forgive me. Because I didn't do anything wrong.'

I felt tears stinging my eyes. _Fuck._

'Jamie,' I said desperately. 'You can't be angry with me. She's the love of my life, I couldn't just -'

'Whatever, Britt,' she said, standing up. 'I'll see you in your next Glee club meeting.'

I stopped dead. Surely I had misheard that. 'Sorry, what?'

'I'll see you in Glee club, Brittany.'

And then she left. Without any explanation, any clues.

What was she coming into Glee club for? Was she going to... sing, for Santana?

Jamie had been right about one thing, at least. Santana was angry. _Very_ angry.

Whenever we passed in the halls, I would desperately try to catch her eye, but she looked straight ahead, her expression calm and cool.

In lessons, she moved seats, as far away from me as she could get. I didn't object, or try and stop her - I felt like I deserved it. She couldn't trust me. So why would she still want to be with me? Or even be friends with me?

But it still hurt, so much.

Glee club meeting loomed ever closer, and I found myself becoming more and more apprehensive. I wasn't one hundred percent sure what Jamie had planned, but it couldn't be good. And a part of me felt like Santana was going to fall for it.

And who was I to stop her?

I wasn't surprised when I entered the choir room to see Jamie standing there, watching Santana, who was sitting in front of where she stood, her expression stony.

'What are you doing here,' she said coldly. 'I think you should just go, Jamie.'

Jamie smiled - a smile which said, very plainly, _I'm not giving up on you that easily._

I sat down on the other side of the room, as the rest of the glee club piled in, looking confused.

Will stood by the piano, looking slightly dumbstruck but resigned to the fact no one was going to stop Jamie from singing today.

As if she could hear my thoughts, Jamie looked over at me, a small grin curling the side of her mouth. _She was winning._

'Jamie!' Puck stood at the door, looking shocked. 'What are you...'

She watched him sadly. 'I had to say something... To Santana.'

Pain flitted across his face, which surprised me - it was the first time I'd seen Puck really _care _about someone.

Quinn and Rachel entered, hurriedly letting go of each other's hands so that Finn wouldn't see.

'Who's this?' Quinn gave her the bitch look I knew so well. Rachel's face became one of recognition - she had met Jamie once before.

'Jamie?'

Jamie smiled at her; a smile Rachel didn't return. 'You're not... joining this Glee club, are you? Because you actually have to become a part of the school for that. And just so you know, solos are becoming harder and harder to come by these days - what with Blaine's talents being added to the club, so don't be under the impression that you're -'

'Rachel, shut up,' said Quinn. Rachel looked at her, shocked. Quinn just grinned, winking at her girlfriend.

'Listen,' Jamie said to the club as a whole. 'I'm here because I need to speak with Santana.'

'Can't you just do it in private, then,' said Kurt. I felt elated. He was on my side.

'No, actually,' she said, watching him curiously. 'I... have all these things I need to say, but I don't know how to put them into words. So... as this is glee club, I thought I would prepare a song.'

Santana raised her eyebrows. 'But you don't even...'

'Sing?' She crossed her arms. 'You'd be surprised, actually.'

With that, she turned to the band, and nodded. They began playing a slow melody.

She stood, watching Santana, and began to sing.

_Oh, and when will our heartbeats fall into two lines_

_And the click-clack of our boot heels beat out the same time_

_Oh, and when will your hand find itself in mine?_

_Oh, and when will your hand find itself in mine?_

The whole club sat, completely still, shocked by the beautiful sound of her voice. It was soft, sweet... And filled with emotion.

_And though I don't know your real name_

_Your real age, or your shoe size_

_I will leave this bedroom chair_

_And this keyboard behind_

_And I will love you in reality and dreams_

_And I will love you in reality and dreams  
><em> 

She walked painfully slowly towards Santana, circling her chair. Santana looked straight ahead, trying not to make eye contact. Her expression was softening, though. 

_And though it kills me to know_

_That when we are through_

_You go to your real lover_

_Who'll put real kisses on you  
><em> 

As she said these words, she walked towards me, circling my chair, too. Everyone in the club was watching me, watching Santana, completely lost for words. 

_Oh well, an ex is about the best that I can do_

_Oh well, an ex is about the best that I can do  
>And so this lonely, lonely hull<em>

_Has no use left for living_

_After finding her love_

_In a heart so unpermitting_

The pain was eminent on her face - every word she spoke held truth. And I couldn't blame her.

_And I will die and never ever hold your hand_

_And I will die and never ever hold your hand_

_But I'll kiss my lips and I'll blow it to you_

_It'll be the last thing that I ever do_

_And wherever you go and whatever you do_

_There's a man underground that will always love you_

_Oh, wherever you go and whatever you do_

_There's a girl underground that will always love you_

As the music finished, Santana stood up. My heart stopped.

She grabbed Jamie by the hand and walked determinedly and swiftly out of the room, dragging Jamie along with her.

The door slammed, and silence filled the room.

'What was that about?'

It was Finn who spoke.

'It's me,' I said.

The words left me before I'd even realised I'd spoken. Everyone apart from Puck and Kurt looked confused.

'Your fault?' said Blaine, 'How is it your fault?'

'I'm in love with Santana.'

No one looked even vaguely shocked at this news.

'And on other news, skies are blue,' Tina said sarcastically.

'Okay, so you all knew that. But... Jamie loves her too. They were secretly dating at the start of this year, and... I broke them up.'

Silence.

'I didn't mean to,' I tried to say. 'I mean, I did but... I didn't mean it to happen like this. And I'm really sorry. Especially you, Puck.'

'I'm sorry too, Puck,' said Kurt.

Everyone looked at him, shocked.

'Wait, you were involved in this, Kurt?' Blaine looked upset. 'Why didn't you tell me?'

'Listen, I just saw how miserable Brittany was and I wanted to help. I just made things worse. I'm sorry.'

'Stop it, all of you,' said Mr Schue. 'Like we have time for your bickering. We have to start preparing for -'

'No!' I shouted at him. He looked shocked. 'I need to find Santana.'

I ran out, searching down corridors for her.

'Santana!,' I shouted desperately. 'Santana!'

I found her in the parking lot. Jamie was gone.

'Santana,' I said softly, running towards her. She turned, tears running down her cheeks.

And suddenly, I was kissing her again.

But she didn't kiss me back. Instead, she grabbed my top and pushed me back. I stumbled, shocked.

'No,' she said, crying. 'Please Brittany, just stop. You let me down. I can't trust you. I don't trust you.'

'But she's gone,' I said, 'Why did you make her leave? She loves you, you could be with her if you wanted to be. But you aren't with her. Because you care about me, Santana. And I'm so sorry. I never meant this to happen. But I can't just give up on you.'

'It's over, Brittany,' she said, pushing past me and opening her car door.

'No!,' I cried holding open the door. 'No, it's not over. This is never going to be over. I love you.'

'I love you too,' she said, fighting against me as I held her back. 'That's the problem. I can't.'

Eventually, she pushed me so hard I stumbled back and nearly fell.

Tears filled my eyes as she climbed into her car, slammed the door, and drove out of the parking lot.

I fell to the ground in the empty space where her car had been, tears falling freely down my cheeks. I didn't try to stop the flow. I didn't need to.

I don't know how long I sat there. Minutes, hours. It could have been weeks, for all I knew.

But if Santana was right - if it was over - I had no reason to move ever again.

**A/N: Okay, I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry. I would make excuses like, I was busy with school, and stuff, but really I'm just lazy. You guys need to go to my tumblr and harrass me to make me update, okay? Once again, I'm sorry. Please take me back.**


	15. Chapter 14

It was days later when I made the decision to change things.

I'd spent almost a week moping around my house, refusing to go to school, throwing tantrums, and generally frightening my little sister and my mom. I cried myself to sleep like I was ten years old.

But finally, I realised. I was being completely, utterly pathetic.

I couldn't let this get to me any more. I knew in my heart it wasn't over between me and Santana - and I knew that eventually, things were going to be alright, even if it took days, months or years.

Even if I never kissed her ever again, I knew our friendship could get past this, even if our relationship couldn't. Our friendship could get past anything it needed to. It always did. I had enough faith to believe in that.

Feeling optimistic, I began to return to school. It wasn't easy, the first time I saw her in the halls, or in glee club. But life was moving on and I forced myself to move on with it.

But there was some hope - I'd often catch her watching me out of the corner of my eye, a longing look in her sad eyes. I didn't look back. If she was happier without me, then that was the way things would go, until she changed her mind. I had decided it was all up to her.

I found comfort in Kurt as the weeks passed - he pulled me through all the pain and sadness I was dealing with, and I spent most of my days at his house with Blaine, who had worked his way back into Kurt's life with ease.

'Brittany, pass the chips.'

It was over a month after Jamie's appearance at Glee club, and Nationals were looming ever nearer. I was, once again, sitting on Kurt's couch with Blaine eating chips and watching fashion TV shows.

'So, how are things with Santana?,' Kurt asked tentatively.

I wasn't shocked by the question - he asked me this now and again to check how I was coping, and I was okay with it.

'Same as always,' I said. 'I ignore her, she ignores me. I know she'll come around. But she needs space, and I'm willing to give that to her.'

'She'll come round, all right,' Blaine said, adjusting his bow tie. 'Trust me, Brittany. The love you share... Well, you can tell it's going to last.'

He smiled at Kurt, who cuddled closer to him on the couch.

'I know that,' I said, smiling bravely. 'But sometimes people need a break from the one they love. And I know I deserve it.'

'Brittany, you didn't even do much wrong,' Kurt said.

'Yeah, but... Santana's weird about the trust thing. It takes an age to earn her trust, and if you break it she feels like you've been lying to her for years, hurting her for years, even if you never meant to hurt anyone. It's her greatest weakness.'

'No,' Kurt disagreed, 'You're her greatest weakness, Brittany. But you're also her strongest playing card. She can't make up her mind about you, that's all.'

I smiled. 'I guess you're right.'

The doorbell rang, and Kurt sprang up to go and get it.

'Coming mom,' he yelled, jogging to the door.

I heard the door open, I heard a gasp, frantic whispering, what sounded like an argument, and then the slamming of the door.

'Whats going on...?,' Blaine asked me, confused. I shrugged, watching for Kurt.

He soon re-entered the room, looking upset.

'Brittany...'

I stared at him. 'Uh, what?'

He sighed. 'Guess who was at the door.'

My eyes widened, and fell to the piece of paper in his hand. He held it out to me, eyes closed.

'Here. Read it.'

I grabbed it, opened it up, and read the three words that meant everything.

**Auditorium. 8pm. Please.**

I looked up, smiling. Kurt watched me, waiting for my verdict.

'She's ready.'

There was only a few options to what Santana could want from me at this point, but I had a pretty good idea mapped out in my mind. Auditorium meant singing. And usually in the Glee club, singing meant forgiveness.

If she could forgive me, I could forgive her.

With high hopes, I left my house at seven after dolling myself up a little, and headed for the auditorium.

I was there early, so I walked in and looked around, looking for Santana, or someone. But there was no one - it appeared to be completely deserted.

I sat down in the front row and waited, still looking around tentatively.

'S..Santana?,' I called out nervously. No answer.

Just as I decided that this was a bad idea after all, and was about to get up to leave and go home, a light on the stage flicked on, and I froze.

'Is anyone there?'

Still silence.

Then the sound of footsteps.

And suddenly, Rachel, Quinn, Mercedes, and Tina came onto the stage.

I watched them, confused. 'Uhhh... What are you all doing here? Where's Santana.'

Rachel smiled and walked towards the microphone.

'Hi, Brittany,' she began. I stayed silent, confused. 'We... invited you here today, because we've made an exciting discovery. You see, after school today were the auditions for the Nationals solo, as you very well know.'

I nodded, still looking lost.

'We've chosen one,' she said, smiling excitedly, glancing at the others, who all grinned. 'And no, it's not me. And I'm so, so glad. The reason we chose it is because of the emotions portrayed through the song.'

'Who got it?,' I asked.

Rachel smiled widely. 'You'll be the first to hear it sung professionally, Brittany. And it means so much to us, to be able to help you. So, I now have the great pleasure in welcoming our new soloist, Santana, to the stage.'

They all smiled at each other with excitement, and walked off the stage to sit at the back row, leaving me at the front on my own.

Shocked, I waited as the lights grew more dramatic, and Santana walked slowly out onto the stage.

And all the air left my lungs as I looked upon her, waiting for her to begin.

**Author's Note: I know this is quite short, but I wanted to update quickly. Hope you enjoyed, sorry to leave it on such a cliffhanger!**


	16. Chapter 15

Santana stood there, hands on the microphone, and the soft, gentle music of the piano began to reach my ears.

_She's beautiful, _I thought, as she opened her mouth to sing.

_Something always brings me back to you  
>It never takes too long<em>

The sadness in her eyes shocked me as I listened to the words which clearly meant everything to her.

_No matter what I say or do  
>I still feel you here 'till the moment I'm gone<br>You hold me without touch  
>You keep me without chains<em>

I felt tears pricking my eyes as I realised how true the lyrics were. Her voice almost seeped through my skin and hit my soul.

_I never wanted anything so much  
>Than to drown in your love<br>And not feel your reign_

As the piano music sped up, she took the microphone off the stand and walked towards me, one hand raised, the light hitting her face and highlighting her emotions.

_Set me free  
>Leave me be<br>I dont wanna fall another moment into your gravity  
>Here I am<br>And I stand  
>So tall, just the way I'm supposed to be<br>But you're on to me  
>And all over me<em>

Everything was falling into place - yes, Santana had been hurt that I'd betrayed her trust, but it was more than that; she had wanted an excuse to stay away from me because I made her vulnerable.

_Oh, you loved me 'cos I'm fragile  
>But I thought that I was strong<br>But you touch me for a little while  
>All my fragile strength is gone<em>

As the chorus began again, she walked forwards, looking directly at me. I forgot that I was standing in an auditorium; I forgot there were people sitting in the rows behind me. All I saw was Santana, and all she saw was me.

_Set me free  
>Leave me be<br>I dont wanna fall another moment into your gravity  
>Here I am<br>And I stand  
>So tall, just the way I'm supposed to be<br>But you're on to me  
>And all over me<em>

The music reached a climax and Santana ran forward, sitting down on the edge of the stage, her beautiful dark eyes never leaving my face.

_I live here on my knees as I  
>Try to make you see that you're<br>Everything I think I need  
>Here on the ground<br>But you're neither friend nor foe  
>Though I can't seem to let you go<br>The one thing that I still know  
>Is that you're keeping me<br>Down_

As she hit the gobsmacking, jawdropping note, it felt like the entire world froze. Nothing else mattered in that moment. Santana was everything.

_You're on to me  
>On to me and all over<em>

The music once again slowed down as the song began to come to a close. Santana put the microphone back on the stand and stood, head slightly down.

_Something always brings me back to you  
>It never takes too long<em>

The piano and violin faded into nothing, and Santana looked at me.

Everyone clapped - not raucously, just softly. We all appreciated the beautfy of the moment.

I went to stand up, to walk onto the stage and embrace her, but she suddenly spoke into the microphone, and resumed my seat.

'That was...,' she began softly. 'I tried to explain how I felt in that song, Brittany.'

'You did,' I said loudly, so she could hear me. 'I get it, Santana.'

'But I still feel like I should explain,' she said. 'Brittany, I... You have always been everything to me. You're my best friend, the only person I really trust. You're my soulmate. I can't be without you and it's killing me. I love you, Brittany, and that's the biggest problem of all. I let you in where I wouldn't let anyone else in, and now you're going to destroy me.'

I stayed silent, listening closely, eyes brimming with tears.

'I know you'd never intentionally hurt me,' she said, tears also filling her eyes. 'But that's not it, I... I'm a slave to you. And I have to be strong. I can't afford to be weak, anymore, Brittany. And you're my weakness. You're the best and worst thing about me. You're the one thing that could kill me, and... I can't risk that anymore. I can't afford to be vulnerable.'

'Santana,' I tried to cut in, 'Santana, you must know I would never, ever -'

'I know, Britts,' she said. 'But it's not you. It's me.'

I bit my lip, trying to hold back the flood of tears which had signalled it's arrival.

'What am I supposed to do?'

'I need time,' she practically begged. 'I need to become strong enough to handle this. At the moment, I'm too fragile, like the song says. Please. Give me time to work this out.'

'I'll wait for you,' I said. And I meant it. 'I'll wait for you, no matter how long I have to wait. I'll be there. And if it never happens, I'll still be waiting. Just so you know that nothing will ever change the way I feel about you.'

She shook her head, tears falling down her tanned cheeks. 'No,' she said, 'Me either, Brittany. That's the problem.'

I stood up, ready to go. She didn't stop me - she just stood by the microphone and every racked sob that rang through the room cut me like a knife.

I turned and walked out, without looking back, the words of the song reverberating around my brain.

_Something always brings me back to you,  
>It never takes too long.<em>

**Author's Note: Next chapter's going to be hard-hitting, so prepare yourselves! Hope you liked this one - it made me sad just writing it, but I felt like that side of Santana's personality always makes an appearance; she tends to panic when she gets vulnerable. Please review/favourite, and thank you if you've already reviewed, it means so much.**


	17. Chapter 16

I wish I'd known in advance, what would happen to Santana.

It was only a week after her song performance - we hadn't spoken. I had kept to my word, determined to give her time if that was what she needed.

And so, I waited.

But she didn't text me, message me, call me, or try and make any contact with me, and Nationals was only days away. I felt as if I needed to speak to her before then, but I didn't know how.

So I spent my days working as hard as I could, practicing for Nationals in Glee Club, and I spent my nights curled up on my bed, reading through all our texts with longing and nostalgia. I remembered when things had been relatively simple between us - _just kissing, _that was how it had started. That had soon developed into _just sex, _and now? Well, now there was no 'just' in our relationship - it was full on, all the time. That was the best and worst thing about it.

'Brittany, it's time for dinner!'

It was another of those nights, same as every day so far that week, and I was lying on my bed reading in order to take my mind off Santana for as long as I could. I'd become an avid reader recently - whenever I wasn't working or practicing my singing, I was reading. It was a great remedy.

'Coming, mom,' I said absently, not moving. I was just getting to the good part.

I heard the phone ring, but I ignored it, assuming my mom would get it - I heard her answer, but I wasn't really listening to the conversation, I was too wrapped up in my book.

A minute later, I heard another cry.

'Brittany!'

'Yeah, yeah, I'm coming,' I said, not looking up.

But once I heard hysterical shouting, I knew something had gone wrong.

'M-Mom?,' I called, worriedly. 'Is everything okay?'

I heard her put down the phone, and then hurried footsteps coming up the stairs. I quickly folded the page of my book and jumped from the bed, rushing to the door.

'Mom?' She walked towards me, looking absolutely horrified. 'Mom! What's the matter, is it Grandma?'

'Lucas,' she said, clutching her side breathlessly. 'Santana's brother, he's been hurt, they think he was stabbed, he's in hospital and he -'

'What!' I felt the world spinning. 'Lucas? What? No, oh my God, mom, he can't be... Is he going to be alright?'

There were tears in her eyes now. 'They're trying to stabilise him, but he's lost a lot of blood. That was Santana on the phone. She wanted to talk to you.'

I shook my head, unable to believe it. 'When did this happen? Did she say?'

'No,' Mom said, running a hand through her messy hair. 'She was completely hysterical, Brittany, I could barely make out what she was saying, she just said she didn't know who else to talk to -'

'I need to find her,' I said, moving towards my desk where my jacket was lying over the chair, but when I turned my mom was blocking the door.

'Brittany, you can't go there now,' she said, suddenly firm.

'Why? Santana needs me, you said so yourself, I can't just -'

'They think he's going to die, Brittany,' she said solemnly. 'You can't be there to witness it. I won't allow it.'

I slumped backwards onto my desk chair, putting my head in my hands.

'Brittany,' she said, moving towards me. 'I'm sorry. From the way she was talking, I don't think he's going to pull through. Santana needs her family right now. Just wait.'

'I'm sick of waiting!,' I shouted, trying to push past her, but she held me back.

'I can't let you go there,' she repeated. 'I won't.'

'So what am I meant to do,' I said, feeling the rage bubble up inside my chest, 'just sit here and wait for him to die? Wait for the phone call to tell me he's gone? Santana means a lot to me, mom, but so does Lucas. He's like my big brother. I can't leave without saying goodbye to him first.'

'It's not your place,' she said. 'They probably won't even let you in to see him.'

'I can't just wait for this to happen, I have to do something, anything -'

'There's nothing you can do,' she said, trying to keep her voice calm and steady. 'Brittany, I know you feel useless right now, but there isn't anything you can do.'

I stood there, my coat half on, looking into her pleading eyes.

'Fine,' I said, giving in.

'Come on,' she said, taking my hand. 'Let's go to the kitchen. I'll make tea.'

I shook my head in bewilderment, but followed her out of my bedroom and down the stairs.

_And now we wait._

* * *

><p>I knew that if Lucas was okay, Santana would have called to let us know.<p>

And if he wasn't, she wouldn't be in any fit state to call anybody.

She didn't call.

But still we waited - holding on to some vague hope that her mobile might be out of battery, or their house phone wasn't working.

But we both knew, by 9 o'clock that evening, that he was gone.

I didn't cry for Lucas, I didn't cry for Santana, instead I just sat there with my Mom holding me in her arms, thinking of all the good times we'd had together. Me, Lucas and Santana. He was older than her by two years. He'd never been into music or dancing the way Santana was. Somewhere along the track, he'd got lost, got in too deep with his Lima Heights friends. I'd barely seen him in the past two years, because he hardly ever came home.

Which is why I wasn't so shocked that he had been stabbed. He was always getting into situations like that - he'd nearly died more than anyone else I knew. But he had always fought it, he'd always escaped. Before now.

Santana never really spoke about him - she had been ashamed of him, to say the least. But I knew she loved him, because she knew that under all the crazy shit he did, he was vulnerable, just like her. They were more alike than she would ever admit, even to herself.

I didn't want to think about what Santana would be doing right now. I couldn't bare the thought of her pain. So, I didn't call her, even though every nerve in my body was screaming for me to make contact. But I knew that when she was ready, she would tell me.

I went to bed early that night. I prayed that I would fall asleep quickly, and a tiny part of me hoped I wouldn't wake up too soon. Sleep was... easy. Sleep was an escape, and I treasured it above all else. Especially at that moment, I just wanted to have a few hours of forgetfulness.

She called me in the morning. My heart dropped when I heard my phone buzzing, and I held my finger over the green button, wondering what would happen if I didn't pick up.

But I couldn't stop myself. I answered.

'H-hello?'

I waited for her reply. I knew she was there, I could hear her breathing, and I gave her time to speak.

'Hi,' she whispered in a hoarse voice that conveyed too clearly that she hadn't slept and she'd been crying for several hours.

I wasn't sure what to say in that moment. 'How are you' seemed ridiculous, and nothing else was coming into my mind. So instead, I waited for her to speak again.

'I need to see you,' she croaked.

I hesitated. 'Are you sure? Are you sure you're up for it?'

She sniffed loudly. Trying to hold herself together as usual.

'I need you.'

I smiled sadly to myself. 'Okay. I'll be over in ten minutes.'

'No,' she said firmly. 'Not here. Treehouse.'

'Fine,' I said, and waited until she hung up.

* * *

><p>I dressed as fast as I could, running out to my garden to find her already standing there.<p>

She looked an absolute mess. Her hair wasn't washed or brushed, and it hung limply around her sunken face. Her eyes were bloodshot and swollen, her lips chapped and faded. It was a cold day, but she wasn't wearing a jacket - it was almost like she wanted to be cold.

'Santana,' I whispered, hurrying towards her.

When she spotted me, it was like something inside her broke.

I pulled her into my arms as she sobbed uncontrollably into my shoulder, and I held her, unsure what else to do.

Her legs completely gave way and she fell to her knees, and I fell with her, so we were sitting at the base of the treehouse, wrapped in each other, while her pained cries filled the air.

'He's gone,' she said, over and over. 'He's gone and I don't know what to do.'

'It's going to be okay,' I whispered, kissing away her tears. 'Everything's going to be okay.'

'I never told him,' she wailed, digging her nails into my jacket. 'I never told him about us. I didn't want to hurt him, so I never told him.'

My steamy breath filled the space between us, where it mixed with Santana's.

'He knew,' I said.

She looked into my eyes, shocked. 'W-What?'

'He knew for years, Santana,' I said, tears stinging my eyes. 'I didn't want to tell you, but... When we were both thirteen, he asked me if I loved you.'

She watched me with wide, sunken eyes, not speaking.

'And...' I took a deep breath. 'I told him I did. But he didn't stop there. He asked me if I loved you like a sister. And I said no, because I'd always known it was more than that between us. And he told me that if I ever hurt you, he would know, and he would protect you with his life. But he also said that he could tell I was the best thing that had ever happened to you, and... He told me he knew you felt the same way, and one day you would realise it.'

She looked away, her face screwed up, trying to stem the flow of tears.

'Remember that time at your house... When I asked you what our relationship was. I told you this relationship was really confusing for me and I wanted to see someone about it.'

She gave me a look. Of course she remembered. It was the start of everything.

'That was his idea,' I admitted, smiling sadly. 'He was the one who made me do it.'

Her expression broke then, and she pulled me back in, holding me even tighter than before, sobbing again.

'None of this would have ever happened if it wasn't for Lucas,' I said. 'Sure he made some mistakes. But I have a lot to thank him for. And so do you.'

I don't know exactly how long we sat there. Santana only left once her grandma arrived and wrestled her out of my arms. I let her go - her grandma would look after her until her parents had recovered from the trauma.

_Everything will be alright, _I said, as her sobs faded away. _Everything will be okay, in the end. And the fact that it's not okay right now, tells me that it's not the end yet._

_All I have to do is survive until then._

**Author's Note: GUH, sad chapter is sad. I know I cried. This chapter means a lot to me, so please review/favourite and tell me what you thought. I read all the reviews I get and I'm really appreciative of what you guys think. Thanks.**


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